Are you I.N.? Join the conversation. Be an Internal Narcissus and let us know how you are loving yourself.

Post your comments. Agree or disagree with what is said. Be a part of this new community of self love.

Raven Feather

Jul 15, 2016

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Today Raven dropped a feather for me. Oh! sacred joyous day, I will remember always date stamp July 15, 2016. I had just finished part I of my Check-IN, and went outside to play with Joy (Grandmother), Freyja Ann, and Hope (her sister). I know this old Raven, too. I have listened to his song and stories for half of my life. He has been active, and always is whenever I come home. I am, humbled and honored with this sacred gift.

The check-in foretells of this magic, and am now, very, sure that I will transfer and work through last layers of root chakra this weekend. Today’s post is check-in 2 Part I of II that was suppose to post last Sunday, July 10, 2016. However, I move according to my internal algorithms not outside. Never pushing past intended lessons of growth. Reasons like this give nod that this is wise.

New blog post, for Root Chakra Check-IN 2 Part I of II is posting this evening at www.internalnarcissus.com ~ Part II of II will post this Sunday.

Blessings for a divine day in your frequency of choice. and please try to honor all and others. Remembering that just because someone does not understand you does not mean they do not like or hate you, for we all start and stop in different places, and peace comes from love balanced in ones light and dark…

Internal Narcissus believes it is is the master plan ~ believing there is so much more going on here on Earth than we can ever comprehend at once, so it is imperative that we come together. Please be kind to one another, for we are all so precious and deserving of real happiness in the now.

Life is the initiation, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus
#raven #medicine #mentalhealth #transcendence #transformation #steppinstones #heartsaresouls #weareallone #love #fear #keystones #feathers #inflight
PS When I went to look at Raven online, for a sign. I found this: http://www.indigenouspeople.net/raven1.htm

I take what some people call “chances” in life. Never play it safe, and always work from the heart. Trying to stay IN my lane and be present in all of my moments. Admittedly, this is harder sometimes than others, for I am a human trying. A work in progress.

Most recently, working with root chakra: I see a wall built around this knowledge, around my belief drawn from the very depths of my core of how powerful we all are, and the truth that we affect each other and self daily with and without knowledge of this. I believe this knowledge had kept me circling and made me more of a recluse than a participant in my life lately.

Knowing this in the now helped me pull a tool earned from prior work to initiate a change. The ability to make a choice about my perception and make changes to its conclusions. We talk about this in Internal Narcissus A Spiritual Transformation: that We can unlearn and relearn all we have, but are no better than the conclusion we found ourselves in until we use these skills in relation and participation with others.

It truly does take a village. Nothing and no one is a mistake. Right now I want to thank Mary DeRoche (Past IN Radio Special guest) and her sister Christina who followed a connection in their heart sending an email about a spiritual radio show host looking for a co-host.

I have not discussed the co-hosting, but did send him my one-sheet and booked my first Radio Show appearance in over a year! Big smile. Also, in the middle of booking two more shows.

Today, I reached IN and then back out to be who I came to be. Everything in life is a choice. We chose. I chose you, and all entities here on Earth to share my love and light. We can and we will overcome fear. And so it is. Excited is a good word to describe the way I feel about talking about Internal Narcissus e-book and my guided 90 day transformation’s. | The show is recorded on August 2, 2016 at 7PM ~ Pyramid One Radio! I will send out more information on the show and where to find it very soon.

Love Life, Kellie J. Wright

Where You Are

Jul 6, 2016

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Where are you sitting and what are you thinking? Are you in the moment or somewhere else? Wherever you are please be there to start paving the where you want to be on your road less traveled.

Make a commitment to have what you are doing (right now to see it through). Create an exact dedication acknowledging its fruition. One that you can easily remember and bring to life in moments of doubt or alone time, for this is how we start to build the dream inside of us.

The one we came from, and can know once we start to feel its truth resonating from deep within. ~ Now pull a breath from the depths of your heartstrings to play your signature song. Then exhale slowly to feel its goodness in a residing comfort to keep you strong.

You know this place, you feel your peace, and you are the hope that became freedom before you decided you could not. This is your life beautiful sisters and brothers, your dream, so make it the one you know. ~ You do know the way.

Love Life, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus
P.S. Take a chance to change the way you feel about yourself, one thought at a time. It is a journey of self love and acceptance of self that is the most inspiring way to be in your world (our world). I pray for all to hear the call of truth that lives within. And so it is. Reach out to me for a consultation to start today! I am so excited to be working with you!

Grounding Your Energy Into Your Root Chakra

Your physical body is your first temple, the foundation for mental and physical health.

When you are ungrounded in your physical body, you can feel unstable in your life. You can lose your center, fly off the handle, daydream too much, feel like you are not focused or ‘all here’ in your daily work. When you bring your focus into your body, you find yourself feeling more secure in all aspects of your life. Grounding practices focus energy in the here and now. There are many simple ways to ground your energy including:

1. eating foods directly from the earth (unprocessed)
2. exercise
3. physical touch
4. through creating a nurturing home space for yourself
5. through following a daily schedule
6. creating healthy routines

This information is exactly what I need to connect to my outside world. I have been feeling a deep call to honor all 6 of these items, for it is imperative going forward to build this daily practice needed to co-create a life worth having and sharing with others. This is part I affirmation, for my root chakra work July 2016.

Adding ~ that my idea of how to process root chakra has already changed. My intended plan of action (to use same methods as Earth Star Chakra) already has morphed into something else entirely. It is OK though. I have gotten used to fast changes lately, and have adjusted accordingly to follow signs. I am committed to not missing a step and learning rapidly. Trust me in that this does feel odd, and I do feel strangely like a fish out of water.

However ~ I am taking solace in the deep gasping of air before every breath inhaled and needed to dive deeper below this illusion of self. This is done by listening further to submerge physical and mental body into what I feel and know are my truths. Also in that I cannot deny the work that has been given to find and process, in the meaning of these flowing thoughts that came to me in last few days:

1. Am I conditional?
2. I think I am still holding on to what I want. Even though I do not know what I want.
3. Its life, you have to experience all of the emotions.
4. I am the truth inside the lie that was never told. (WTF?) (Have I been given a riddle, if so it is the first one?)

I cannot explain any of this yet ~ oh, but I will. Excited and thankful that there are 31 days in July, for all days will be needed to find these vaults of stored emotions and truth (gulp).

Stay with me on my journey, yours too, for we are all one.

Love, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus at Heart

Earth Star Chakra. Oh my goodness what do I say? When I set off to work I always find a little piece of information to start thinking and pondering on within. I then apply my own knowledge to use with my sacred medicine inside of me to heal. Searching, for clues, and opening up to hear divine consciousness speak to me. To hear God and to connect to all the signs that are all around me.

Yoga Story was insatiably one of the most important parts of the healing in this transpersonal chakra work. Each practice dedicated to Earth Star Chakra, first. Then I used my scrimshaw to connect to Mother Earth, and a bracelet made of stones and crystals, for Gaia through all meditation chakra works.

The bracelet is a Chinese bracelet that I bought, so long ago ~ that I could not believe I found it in my things. God is good and Mother Earth is, too. Here are the wisdoms learned in June 2016 ~ especially the first nine days of this healing work done in Earth Star Chakra:

This is what I first read and connected to for my work this month:

“The Earth Star Chakra holds a connection to the living spirit of Mother Earth, also known as Gaia and her multidimensional nature. We are electromagnetically connected to the center of Mother Earth. As human beings, we can only be as beautiful and glorious as the Great Mother whose womb we are all still in. The entire planet is covered by grids of energy and light that connect the people, places and sacred structures together in miraculous ways.” http://chakrahealingmovement.com/theearthstarchakra/

I began June 1st: I only drank water and had a few small bites of Noosa yogurt each morning before yoga. I had coffee as a treat when I got home. Then some fruit with the rest of the Noosa. I washed and cleaned the fruit slow and with intention. I would not rush the process to make coffee either. I made time for my hunger, and my work to honor all as I went about my new morning routine. Each yoga practice was dedicated to my Earth Star Chakra, to life, and Mother Earth (other things here that are for my knowledge and personal sacred works).

At the very beginning this felt odd, though, because every time I tried to honor her (Mother Earth). Give all my homage to her for the practice I felt guilty. A pit in my stomach appeared. I could never say or give the whole offering to her without bringing creator into it too. At first it didn’t bother me too much just a slight knowing in my solar plexus. I would just adjust the dedication, and then was free to flow with thoughts found through images, words to work on, and the instructors intentions for the hour. Things started to happen day one…

I knew immediately this work would include my mother, too. So when I brought her in it was then shown to bring all of my earth mothers, grandmothers, and female ancestors in to honor as well. Also calling on Archangel Sandalphon, to bring my prayers directly to creator…I have never felt they did not go straight there, but he is this chakras angel and I was taking no chances!

Eventually realizing that I was working with my birth mother AND my father. This is where it gets a little deeper. Stay with me…

I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t commit a single practice to just Mother Earth, and feel free to honor her and the bounty of Earth which we are a part of. It was an hour, so why could I not just be with her? I could not do it without feeling overwhelming guilty, and had to bring creator into the dedication, too, every time. Finally, knowing, this is a block, my block, what is this block?!

Why was I feeling guilty and could not leave father out of it? It was just an hour of a yoga practice to heal and center Earth Star Chakra..then it finally happened the softening of mind ~ going back in time to realize that father had blocked mother from me…sadness…

I will leave the tale of my mother and father’s divorce, or the part that I think I know out of this. What I do feel is that it was a painful thing that they both went through, and I being the oldest child had a huge block. My father had blocked me for my mother. He was not happy that she left him, so he kept my sister and I. My mother would visit, I remember this. I do believe this is where I created my first block against mother unbeknownst to me. My whole life I’ve never been able to truly connect to my mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, dearly, but we just never deeply connected.

Internal Narcissus believes that I installed a belief that I had to choose between my mother and father whenever they were around because I did not want to hurt their feelings. I believe that father blocked me from mother because he was in pain and that mother blocked us because she could do nothing else and was in pain. She had to submit. I believe we all did, and that we did the best we could at the time with the tools that each of us had.

I was baffled and freed in this work, and I went in deep to meet us all in the memory of mind. As I silently cried in yoga meditation ~ I released the pain and cleared the blocks I had imagined and put in place. I forgave my father and I forgave my mother, and I forgave me.

I forgave my father for being hurt and blocking my mother from me. I forgave my mother for not being strong enough to stand up against my father. And I forgave me as a little girl, for not understanding how to love both at the same time without hurting their feelings.

(Tears) (pain) (sorrow) ~ Oh what a tangled web we weave…

The beauty in this traffic section of my life is the three instances where I was able to connect and actually see myself, and see myself with my mom. I have never been able to connect to early memories of me, or me with her. In this work connecting through mind, body, breath, and yoga I was availed my biggest gifts so far in this journey:

I saw me as a little baby. I was in the hospital nursery. Newborn. I could feel myself in the little body. I could feel my hands move and my mouth sucking and cooing. I could see outward at my mom.

A second time I was playing with me as a baby. Taking my little hands and arms pushing them together then apart saying a-boo.

Then the third time I saw my mother playing with me, and doing the same thing with my little arms. I was so touched and honored to be able to be taken back to those memories. To do this work is thankless, it is selfless, and selfish at times. Yet, I am so thankful for the commitment to know self and free these unknown blocks to be free in the now.

No longer trying to protect them and harming myself and others unknowingly in the process. Removing the blocks that my father needed my allegiance to shield him from his pain against my mother. And being able to see my mother loving me when I was a baby are all gifts that took me 3 1/2 years to get too. All spirit led ~ completely 100% indivisible. I love them both and hold no fear or anger. Our lives are our perceptions to honor or decline. We decide.

I thought I was done on day 9 with the work, but just recently I worked with Earth Star Chakra again. Thinking I was fine, but having some blocks, so knew to look inward. Finally going outside to look at the sky and be in the “chair of real.”

I was looking and feeling all around calling to God and on my sanity to help me through the pain and resistance that I was feeling. Then it hit me, and I knew it was time to clear any past pain and unintentional harm done through vanity, pride, or ego from a child forward being stored in my Earth Star Transpersonal Chakra.

I fell to my knees and cried full of unabashed shame knowing I had hurt people, for we all have, and I begged for forgiveness and to please be released. To be washed cleaned with my tears and bare knees digging into cement. Thankfully, it was given, I knew, when the wind came up and whipped around me, so fiercely in circles. God had heard and released my sins, Mother Earth had heard me and forgiven me for hurting her children. Oh my this work is something powerful, and that had to be done. I feel blessed to have the strength to keep following signs to get to the heart of self to free me.

I can honestly say I’ve never been more connected humanly in my life. I have always said I could not connect to my female side. Always connecting more to my masculine side. And I knew a year ago that I would be working on connecting and balancing the two, and by gosh, I finally have. Shocked and thrilled to say the least, and full on in the knowing that there can be no balance within the human body or soul if we are not balanced in mother and father. That means birth mother and father, too. We are both. We do not exist without mother and father, and this definitely means Creator and Mother Earth. Since the work with my mom and dad and clearing those blocks I have had not problem honoring either or both. I feel so balanced too.

Part of connecting to Earthstar chakra is connecting to Mother Earth. Every bounty on this earth comes from her. Everything we eat and the air we breath. We cannot do one thing without planet Earth. It is time that we start to recognize this to clear pain and honor her as we honor father. Tend her and take care of her for future generations. Through this work I could not help to think…what did they do to mother? Where is she? Why do we only talk about father?

Internal Narcissus knows now that if we do not connect to both mother and father then we are not connecting all. We have to fix this or everything that we have done to get us to this point may parish. We truly are all one. We are half male and half female. It takes both species to make one. Think on it….

In this time during June I have learned to honor the practice of creation. Honoring God and Mother Earth. We simply do not exist without both. I thank them, for life and the gift of finally being connected in real time to both and how that is everything. I take time to create beautiful meals made with love. Honoring even the the knife that it cutting my fruit and vegetables (the people who made it or dug the minerals to make it). Mostly I thank them for being an awake, alive, human who gets to enjoy all of it.

Walking my mind out of darkness again through transpersonal chakra clearing was tough work. I could never in my wildest dreams thought to find these blocks, but hard work and belief did. All the vanity and pride that I used or held against another that I didn’t know either, wow! Transpersonal is the self. Transpersonal Chakra is for real.

Next month is the Root Chakra, and with the freedoms earned have new next steps. I AM going home to Washington state for the month of July to work on Root Chakra to be where I was born and grew, so it makes complete sense.

The biggest gift of all that happened this June is that I learned in this final work in being spirit led ~ is that I am the led. I am my spirit. I make my decisions and my choices, and I am free to change them, too. Stay with me on my journey, for sure to continue and surprise the heck out of me. Hopefully inspire something in you, too.

I will talk more about Root Chakra next Sunday.

Love Life, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus

I grow stronger every day. As I build and grow the business as a design, for my life in real time by faith with Creator and Mother. I cannot explain the changes inside of me that has come, so fast, faster than ever. I know that the last three weeks of committed daily hot yoga while dedicating each practice to the work with, Earth Star Chakra, Mother Earth, Gaia, Creator, and Earth Mothers and Fathers has guided it all. I feel completely at one with both Creator and Mother Earth, and this has never been so before.

This is different than anything I have ever felt. I see and am given more than ever before in signs and downloads coming all day and through the night. I am forced to wake up to record them into my phone, and am convinced it will become a book that I was given a name at the very beginning of this journey.

Life is way high right now, and is still a little too noisy while getting ready to move and processing the whole next steps given in my journey. I see now why I needed to stay grounded here in Arkansas, for I needed to be grounded to do this work in transpersonal chakra. Wow is putting it lightly. Intense is right on, and needed, for me to do anything required in the work going forward to be love and assist as a guide for personal healing. This is a deeply grounded journey in interpersonal work with perception, self, and family.

I can honestly say (again) that I was blind and now can see. Baby steps are the only ones that could have been taken to pave the road to the here and right now. The ones needed to find the little doors behind the big doors of dark that lead straight to the heart of thy foundation. The keys that connect us to, all. The whole system is slowly coming to me in shifts that I am dutifully speaking into my phone. Held rapt in the solidification, finally, of ~ I am creating every second. I/we are creating our lives in each breath taken in each thought and through grace. Think about it…

I feel honored to have finally stepped into my calling and am working with Beautiful people, who just like me needed a little extra push to find the strength inside them to challenge all. The number one reason being our love for God, our families, and the desire to live a full life free from fear, drama, and stigma. Awake in real time is real life (As my friend, Jan Edwards, so correctly stated the other day). Clearing past to be present in the now is wonderful, and all of this just made me smile, so big!

Creator is waking us up, and I have three plus years of knowledge on how to fight the enemy called fear, pride, and ego. In this is an invitation to dive IN, for a 90 day transformations with me. Message me, for a consultation as to what it is exactly, and how it works ~ to see if it feels right for you.

I feel sure that a guide is needed because I tried to do this on my own, for years. I would sit alone in isolation trying to figure things out for myself, but once I committed to the 90 day transformation and had an accountability partner my world changed. It is not a joke that when two or more are in his presence…please think about it.

Internal Narcissus is going to meditate, for a proper check-in on Earth Star Chakra in regards to all of the amazing work done in yoga, crystals, and meditation work thus far, and will post a proper download next week as a summation to all of the works done in June. Intricate and powerful awakenings happened, and I will never be the same, and am so thankful, for I feel more connected and alive! I am balanced in mother and father (more to come).

Love Life, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus at Heart

Today is Sunday Check-IN, for the next steps in my spiritual journey working on the Earth Star Chakra. I still have not named this directive, and may just title the check-in’s by date and chakra per month. This shift came on so fast, and I do not feel it is a transformation because it is an 8 month commitment, but it is shift work. Maybe it is an internal shift? I will let it come if it does, but for now I am just feeling like it is a sinking in and letting of.

My intuition says this is, for Balance. Hence the hot yoga coupled with chakra and crystal work. It is work to stay balanced through an hour of hot yoga working in mind, body, and pose while working directly with spirit. My usual medium is water and deep meditative dream work. Though I am still using it at home to process signs, and revelations found in class. It is not an accident that I am suppose to use yoga’s mind, body, and connection to breathe, for my chakra-crystal healing.

This weeks work was a deep giving over and complete surrender atoning memories stored in my Earth Star Chakra center. I did not know that could happen, but it is transpersonal, so that memories are stored there is not too much of a surprise. The work was deeply personal and I am choosing to keep it to myself as I go over it and process it this week. I was going to share a video blog, but it got cancelled twice in the making, so am taking it as a sign to be still. We do not grow ahead at IN.

I am finding my way through this new journey one minute at at time by staying in the day, moment, and its intended month. Each chakra is so different that I can only guess the work will be too. This is why I relinquish control, or thinking that I know what is best for me in this work, for when I surrender and open my heart to spirit. I always am given what I need, and this week took me places I never would have found on my own otherwise…

My first 90 day transformation was to become balanced in mind body and soul to find true love. In the end processing that God is my happily ever after and first love.

My second 90 day transformation started as one thing and quickly turned into working on throat and heart chakra. This was to learn to find and speak my truth then validating my worth.

My third 90 day transformation started as one thing and quickly changed into working on clearing cellular memory blocks in father and twin flame relationship work. Then it continued afterwards turning into mother relationship work. And continued on tirelessly once in Arkansas. It was dark and onerous at times, but I owned it ~ knowing I had too, it is my journey and my mind I was fighting to center, so nothing would stop me.

And here we are working again, no rest, LOL. And so many things have happened this week shocking me clean with the energy work processed in my yoga sessions that I cannot even fathom to try to explain it all to you, so will not right now. Believing what should be revealed will, as it can , and when it comes.

This journey of awakening that I grow out loud to inspire others IN never ceases to amaze me. Earth Star Chakra that I did not know much about before 12 days ago literally blew my mind. Here is some information that I found on Earth Star Chakra, online, before I started this new journey June 1, 2016:

“If you are familiar with your chakra system, you will know that there are usually only 7 chakras that are focused on and they all reside within the body. However, there are additional transpersonal chakras that exist within the auric field of the body and within the earth. These transpersonal chakras are awakened as we transition from the 3rd dimensional to 5th dimensional reality. The Earth Star Chakra is located about 11-12 inches below your feet.”

This week was resoundingly about trusting the process (my process and my faith). Listening further by creating space to be very still. And the blessing of re-learning yoga at Yoga Story with their amazing group of healing instructors. I know every little thing I did and steps followed had to happen as they did (exactly) for any of what transpired to transpire, so am grateful and honored, for my friends, family, and now instructors who are working with me, and allowing the grace for me to do what I do in: accepting that I never question what I am given by spirit, follow what I hear blindly with eyes wide open and closed, as I trust obsessively in the divine flow of all.

I will not post anything on the work processed and cleared this past week through my yoga practice. It is still new, deeply personal, and beautiful. I am choosing to hold it as close as a new born baby to protect, love-on, and honor its call to be known and then for me to let lovingly go.

Eternally, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus at Heart

“See your truth then harness your potential! This is your time to Shine Bright and be who you came to be.” ~ Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus

This is the first week of next steps in my transformation journey to become balanced in mind, body, and soul to find true love. 3 plus years later and I seriously cannot believe that is how it all started. With a plea to mend self, so I could find true love. I am almost laughing and crying. God is so good, and what a journey it has been since falling to my knees in complete surrender begging, thy will not thine.

These next steps came in a really quick shift that I am still trying to process. Each day I work to listen closer, for guidance, and am slowly closing down shop here in Arkansas. ~ Literally giving away almost every last shred of clothing that I own, shoes too, and a bunch of other things that seem to have made it through each last thinning of things acquired, and still hanging on too. Not anymore though ~ and believe it or not, getting ride of it has made space for major movements again in my life. I cannot express how much we do have to let go, if we are going to move forward, for if there is no space inside of us, or outside of us to grow ~ lessons and forward momentums cannot connect they just circle.

I will be honest, my body is in shock from the last five days of hot yoga. The complete change of diet. No coffee in the morning until after yoga. I mean I had a pretty good diet before, but it needed help, so I was led to cut it all out. I only use fresh veggies and fruits, but I am going gluten free too, no treats…even my guilty pleasure of Ice Breakers Peppermint gum and my favorite peppermint candies that were consumed more like a bad addiction. They were dropped day one. I still have a bag of the gum (yes I said bag LOL) on my desk and will not take one piece. This commitment to body is serious, for me to pull next steps and garner ancient knowledge buried inside.

This is the spiritual work I am doing in my chakra work plus 200 days of yoga:

June: Arkansas/Earth Star Chakra
July: Baja/Root Chakra
August: Baja/Sacral Chakra
September: Baja/Solar Plexus
October: Baja/Heart Chakra
November: Baja/Throat Chakra
December: Baja/Third Eye Chakra
January: (undetermined)/Crown Chakra

I am checking in that the sweetest thing I have witnessed everyday changing inside me is my connection to Mother Earth. I am healing and connecting to her through the Earth Star Chakra and it is amazing me already. I work with spirit, Mother Earth, Mary, and Archangel Sandalphon. I call on them in meditations, and am using new language that combined is making an impression and impact already. I dedicate each yoga practice to the opening and connecting of Earth Star Chakra while blessing all because all is from Mother Earth.

There is nothing on Earth really that is not of her, so I thank her everyday by blessing my fruit and veggies while I am washing them for prep. I make time to prepare each meal with care honoring the gift of life and the bounty of which I am able to harvest. I am creating a practice from waking to sleep that is baby steps to honor my body-mind connection. Creating space to find space as I create a real plan to use in all my hours and minutes, while giving thanks to God and Mother Earth, wisely everyday.

Life is so beautiful, and I am so thankful and full of gratitude to be right here doing what I am right now. More to come as I live and grow this journey of spiritual enlightenment out loud over the next 8 months.

Live Life, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus

Smarter

Jun 2, 2016

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“Be too smart to fall for your own deception.” Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus

Rise against your occasion. Wage war against obscene thoughts to break free of the darkest dark one will ever fight; the darkness fighting to keep you from your truth. Let me be clear…your truth is not my truth and my truth is not your truth, for our internal light is as unique as we are. It is a one of kind connection that is designed before birth, for us to find then connect backwards to become balanced in love and fear, and our connection with God.

What if you decided today to take a chance and go for it, you know, try to fulfill this mortal destiny everyone keeps talking about by awakening to your in-line real-time conscious to be present with your mind, body, and soul?

Internal Narcissus is adamant that this is not a how to thing, but a how you thing. We create our lives daily, we try to mange it by the second, but what if we harnessed the belief that we can change it? This is not easy work, but it is the best and most awesome work we can do for ourselves and our families. Only if called though, and you will know when.

Please do not go where you do not feel called, for we should never try to grow ahead of where we are in our soul journey. We truly cannot anyway, for we have to be where we are until current lessons are learned leading to next steps of intended growth. Trust is paramount, for you will know when it is your time to say I cannot do this by myself anymore. I reject who I have became or ended up, and now I am commited to finding the who I came to be, my real me.

Unfortunately you have to do what you have been designed by fear, until this point, not to do. And that is your inner soul/child work. I know, it seems so daunting, and I believe it was meant to, and again all to keep us from doing it. We have to work hard, for this gift of life in the now. Yes, we will change the way we feel about ourselves, but only and when we are tired of being tired. Tired of lying to self, tricking self, denying self, or over indulging self.

When the pain of suffering finally starts to outweigh the pain of being alone. Alone in our thoughts, in our pain, in our contentment, illusion and the slight feeling of what if things could be different? The work once started will bring a peace that is readily available to use and call on when times are hard. Believe me, I thought my connection to God was strong, until I did this work, and now I am full on God.

My faith is the same never faltered, but it was my connection to my God that magnified three fold. Now, my drug of choice is creator! Freeing self from ego, fear, and pride is not a joke, but it does take time to get through different stages of it, so this peace will fluctuate as the graces and hard knocks of life happen. If we work to hone the skills and turn them into a practice ~ we will learn to do these four things impeccably:

The Four Agreements
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word;
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally;
3. Don’t Make Assumptions; and
4. Always Do Your Best.

First conscious does not mean we are perfectly balanced, but it does mean that we know better, and have a plan to use and to lead the way whenever we get lost. That we tried and through dedication to self, found the next-doorway to clear and free our minds. That we know and start the hard work to move past thought patterns and repetitions in the form of feelings that come crashing in as waves or slowly as the tide comes in. Wave lengths of energy meant to knock us from center, only we have now done the work, so can stand our ground.

Baby steps is how we build and grow this relationship to happiness in our sad and happy moments. At Internal Narcissus, out loud, and all over the place I grew slow, messy, and the best that I could with the tools I had and each step of the way. I would stop when I needed rest, and sleep when I needed sleep, cry when I needed to cry, and walk for miles when I needed to walk for miles.

It was more important, for me to figure out how to connect to myself in real time than anything else. I knew I had too, if I wanted to connect at all. This means: life, love, self, ground, thoughts, fear, intent, family, friends, and God. I would not try to get a head of myself for anyone….knocking on every door and waging a war against any negativity that arose.

I would run face forward into anything I was resisting knowing that it was the way through. Always forward never away. I refused to go blind and miss any more of my days and minutes of good sleep and peace of mind by not being happy with my life. I decided to not let fear choose my next steps by always changing everything to suit it.

Instead I radically decided to do the opposite. I wanted to be smarter than the brain I knew, and more devoted than the heart I was searching for, and it brought me here. Hungrier to assist those who want to work with me, and now in a final defiance ready to take six months to solidify the work done and own the truths I found.

The past is the past, the now is all I have, and in my mind I hear “awake is the new black”.

Reach out to me if you would like to work with me in private sessions, or in a transformation. I am taking new clients, and am ready to assist and guide. Thoughts are tricky and it my gift to listen and hear what you are saying then show you back, so you can decide what you want to do.

We are all one and we are all worthy of having a life worth living and sharing with others!

Love, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus at Heart

Loveness

May 29, 2016

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There comes a time when one must walk away, if they can, from everything. Unplug the phone, get off the grid, and get in touch with the “who they came to be.” ~ Kellie J. Wright

The spiritual and mental work that I did over the last three plus years was intense and insane. Some times I laugh and then sometimes I want to cry, but will not let myself. Steadfast in the belief that everything happens for a reason, and only as it can when it does.

My life has been a joy ride of travesty and gentleness mixed with aptitude and denial. Clever is the mind that wants to keep us mired in darkness, and from greatness. Knowing this, I never stopped questing, never stopped seeking, never stopped learning to let go, so I can be. While always looking for the best in myself and others. People are so beautiful to me and I love them, so there is no other way.

Believing that life is not meant to be a game of chess but an embrace that we should greet with open arms and loving hearts. Ones that stretchs all the way around the world and back. Yes, beautiful is it not, but somehow somewhere in between the space continuum and the places we chose to breathe in-and-out there is this monster called, madness.

Madness exists between the dark and the light. A boundary of deluge that holds us captivated from self until the one day that we decide to stop and look around at everything. Thinking, what would it be like if I try to bridge this distance? What if all the things I am thinking are keeping me trapped behind the looking glass of me?

Thoughts and legs softly pumping back-and-forth perched on our internal swing-set of sad with hands grasped tight to the chains of stuck. Until by chance, fully encompassed in the inertia of our unique beauty and inherently good intentions we jump. Flying through the light chasing a blown kiss from creator that we finally saw, so we leapt to life. At once awakened and reveling in our exquisite rapture of light and dark! Yes, this sparkly beast of thing called, balance. Oh yes, balance is our turnkey.

Internal Narcissus believes that we have to be balanced in love and fear to be. To find our key. Neither giving love or fear more attention. Instead just the perfect amount of homage to both, Yin and Yang. Causing our authentic self to bubble forth with a life altering elixir of Love-ness. Yes, I said love-ness (smiling). We must have fun with our words to snap us around to remember that although this work is hard, it is fun, and a treat to learn how to be in real time ~ soul free.

This love-ness manifests once we believe in our truth and accept that we only exist in the now, that we are in real time. That we do not have to accept any thought (mind yourself here) any thought..as negative or positive. That we do not have to accept others opinions of us as truths, and that we can decline our own thoughts as well.

Learning to speak our truth by clearing all of the untruths that are no longer needed, or truths assumed that were never ours to begin with. Disarming our arsenal of weapons acquired through time to protect us by blocking our connection to self and others. Brilliantly, we have the power to deprogram our fear and its qualifying language, too.

Instantly realizing that to be impeccable with our word means having NONE. No thoughts, no thinking, just being. This truth means honoring all beauty, all life, not just ours or whom we choose to have in our life, for a moment or moments, but to honor all life as our own always. To love another as ourselves. To allow others to change their mind. To do unto others as we would do unto ourselves. All facilitated by learning to love and accept ourselves, for who we came to be.

On this Masters Path of Enlightenment that I have hand walked myself to over these last 3+ years, all works have led here. I love here, and love the fruition of mind, body, and NOW. Yet, I was catapulted into a shift that has brought me to today and next steps have been given after an intense last week of deep meditation and listening further. So, I must leave where I comfortably landed in mind and body, called, Arkansas to connect to soul and Mother Earth in Mexico. I am away, for a spirit-led masters class in chakra and crystal healing.

Details on this will come later, but what this means is that I will follow all signs given: upon deep meditation, visualization, intuition, books, and spiritual work. 200 hundred consecutive days of yoga will be done, too. I believe this is to solidify the last three years work since my first 90 day transformation and to balance my charkas before leaving this ending year of 2016.

Finally making what I know into a practice. Then following next steps given as I always do. One step at a time, growing slow, so as to not miss a thing. Stay with me on my journey ~ yours too, for we are all one.

Love and Light, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus IN Flight