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Dear Inner Circle,
This may sound weird, but have to share. I awoke pretty early Saturday April 1, 2017. Happy and feeling pretty pleased with myself. Proud of the works accomplished in this 4th 90 Day Transformation. I had no idea where it would take me…although I knew where I started. It is always like that once we are surrendered and working we are open to receive, and align with all of the other help we need too. Was gliding through the house smiling deeply ~ and then these words came, so I wrote them down and guess it is now time to share:
I am pretty proud of you Kellie, you have grown up to be a pretty decent woman.
You always had a good heart, but that just was not enough.
A broken heart has no foundation, no place to call home.
Try as we might and did, we found all the places that were broken,
Then walked right into and through them to make them whole again.
Tough job kiddo!
I am proud of you.
Now we can Shine Bright Together!
Love Me & Kellie
P.S This is my truth as it came to me, and felt the need to share. When we work with our highest self, inner child, and real time self ~ the conversations are multi level and layered.
Dear Inner Circle,
This is a personal testimony from an amazing woman, and graduate of an IN 90 Day Spiritual Transformation. I am honored to have worked with her, and feel blessed for her wonderful thank you ~ in a voice to help illuminate the time, effort, work, and results of this deeply personal process…
My 90 day IN Experience
We are all storytellers. We tell ourselves stories every day. We believe these stories so much, they become our life and identity.
Kellie and her spirit inspired book “Internal Narcissus: A spiritual Transformation” helped me hold a mirror to my life experiences and see the stories which influence my life. It is interesting because these stories are based on our comprehension of the world around us, filtered with our own kaleidoscope of understanding.
Much of this understanding is solidified before we reach adulthood. Kellie helped me realize we make life decisions with understandings forged at tender and undeveloped ages.
Kellie curated a 13-week experience to explore the intent behind these stories. She helped question the boundaries and triggers that make up my life. Kellie’s philosophy revolves around being in “real-time”, living with intention, and dealing with fear so one can speak and live ones truth. I was blessed to participate in her course last fall.
The process was insightful, yet uncomfortable at times. Self-observation is eerie. I do not like feeling vulnerable. Kellie encouraged me to regard myself as a friend and defend myself like I would others.
The logistics of the 90 days were important to me. I have a career, a husband, endless laundry and cooking, a full social calendar filled with family and friends, so I could not checkout of life and spend 90 days meditating in a cave. I “met” with Kellie over the telephone twice a week.
The first session was at the beginning of the week to review the week’s topic. The rest of the week was living with the material. I journaled, meditated, re-read the chapter in the book, generally processing the material. At the end of the week, we met for the second session to clarify and review my observations. We used Evernote to communicate with general check-ins and record thoughts/communication. It was both intense and fun.
There were layers of growth during my time with Kellie. I found I grew the most when I was not hiding behind bad habits or defenses. Kellie was able to see these patterns and call me out when my defenses started to assert themselves. Open-mindedness was imperative to this process.
During my journey, an amazing number of synchronicities occurred during this transformation period. Reoccurring themes of change, revelation, and vivid, crazy dreams furthered the process. Quotes found their way to me that confirmed that week’s topic. Friends and acquaintances would bring up topics related to the work. My meditations were transcendent. These were confirmations of a mystical nature.
I am a creative person, but I do have the imagination to create these experiences. The phrase “I can’t make this up” was used often during my sessions with Kellie. The Universe was talking and I was listening. Leonardo da Vinci was correct when he said, “Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.”
The insights during my personal journey were hard won and resonant frequently. While everyone’s journey will be different, we are all seekers of a bigger and higher truth.
With Kellie, you will learn to see the falsehoods that keep you in specific pattern of behavior. The lessons I learned have become mantras of understanding I apply to life. They are keys to further my awakening journey. I found this transformation process was about showing up and doing the work. It was about showing up to live life.
The lasting effects of this time with Kellie include an innate calmness, a sense of self, and a strong sense of ownership over my life. I am still learning and growing; I am a work in progress. I am excited for you to have your journey. We are creating our lives with these stories we tell ourselves – what is your story?
BCM; Adapted from originally published article “What a 90 day Spiritual Transformation Taught Me”, 2017 01 11
Dear Inner Circle,
I am writing this declaration to the universe and interested parties that the opportunity to start the spring 2017 thirteen week 90 Day Transformation course ends this Friday.
The next class begins October 2017, and am taking reservations. The price for October 1, 2017 course (4 seats only) are $3900.00 each. Details to follow.
There are two seats left for this quarter, for $900.00 each. I am honoring the price given as it was presented, and will grown forward. If you have ever considered taking this course with me, now is definitely the time.
I am happy to report that in week eleven of my fourth 90 day transformation in body ~ I have realized the worth of my work, and am claiming this power today, March 27, 2017.
When we start a spiritual transformation we create a personal commitment statement, and then know that God will provide everything else we ‘need’ ~ if we are open, pay attention, listen, and trust the process.
Using acquired tools thus far in my journey, intuitive spiritual gifts, signs presented, signs from nature and medicine books, Aunt, college courses at Sofia, and Enlightenment Coach, Dr. Kapil Gupta. I have woke up more profoundly, and found more truth than ever knew possible inside this last few months. You can too, if you believe you can, for we are what we believe.
This morning upon waking, started to create a mantra to guide my solar plexus work this week.
“I will love universally like the sun.
Sometime it burns sometimes is warms.”
…more will come while working the week…also, here are three stages of solar plexus.
Beings with excessive third chakra energy react to life circumstances, they have emotional outbursts and are often stressed out.
Beings with blocked or deficient third chakra are passive and inactive – allowing life to pass by while they do nothing.
Strong third chakra reflects the ability to move forward in life with confidence and power. It reflects the ability to make conscious choices to choose and to act.
Please know that these conditions change and we are works in progress. I connect so deeply with being blocked.
I was stuck, knew I had been stuck for a while, but could not see or get to the information door. It took the dedication and desire to find this information out, and to steady keep an eye on the path paying attention to all for this 4th transformation work to bring its exquisite yellow bloom. As soon as I knew, and could apply the time to process this key, woke up this morning knowing exactly what to do. Thank you, Dr. Kapil Gupta, for you lessons, and Universe for guiding and connecting this truth, so perfectly.
I am reminded of an IN quote created at the beginning of this project a few years ago, and will share.
“We can grow quickly, when we are paying attention.”
Week twelve is the last full week of deep work in this 13 week course, and having been given the keys to the kingdom, yet again, yesterday. I know exactly what to do.
A woman with an open and balanced Manipura Chakra values herself and her work, is confident in her ability to do something well, loves and accepts herself, is willing to express herself in a powerful way, knows that she has the freedom to choose to be herself and direct her own life. http://www.chakra-anatomy.com/solar-plexus-chakra.html
This week is about embracing my Manipura Chakra power. Finishing my chakra three mantra, and taking another first new step with eyes washed free of lather ~ ready to embrace the woman I have become with love and respect while staking a new canvas to create the living art that is my life.
Kellie J. Wright
Voice of Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys, Inc
*Decided to share this quote photo as it came up in my work today. It is TBT, and a big thank you to my first creative team at Internal Narcissus. I honor our dance this journey, and will never forget our friendships and sacrifices. Namaste.
Dear Inner Circle,
Are you open or closed? I wonder if you know, for it is not always an easy thing to detect. I will let you in on something…there are layers undetectable, so it is never an easy question to answer. Had thought that I was open many times before in this journey, only to find there were some secret doors that had to be blown off. Masks hidden in letters, words, and rhyme. So we can be half open and half closed, for a very long time before we find the right codes to initiate the big bloom.
Last week I was given a sign that showed me that I am closed. My heart that is, and would not have believed it was. This is why signs are important to my work, and sure enough ~ my heart chakra is closed. The sign gave me the knowledge that it was now time to open my heart back up in this equinox cycle of spring. Not taking this lightly I worked for three days to make sure to find all of the deep parental catches to process with love, deeply.
This 4th 90 day transformation has been so very good to me, for so many reasons. God always gives us what we need attached to what it is we asked. My body changes: no sugar, vegan diet, no caffeine started January 2017 are awesome. I feel amazing, but realizing that my heart was closed when I had no idea it was not ~ was the last message needed to walk this woman soul-free (or so I thought*).
What I have gleaned and tagged as the upmost importance in my journey. Is that through Growing-IN, I, ultimately, Grew-UP. A full fledged woman in complete harmony within her 47 years of being here. Not that I am perfect, no one is, and have no desire to be. I like my dark and my light in equal measures, and this equals bliss.
Just am not interested in being forever anything, but open, free from ego, and ready to live from my heart, in the now, and to assist others who wish to take this journey, if they so choose.
To know thyself is to pay careful attention to what we present ourself daily. What we present ourselves is what we are made of…it is the recipe that builds our reactions and actions that become each and every minute of our day. When I was just running around being who I had became that was different, but now having claimed myself. I stake the land daily, so to be the best version of self that I can. This work takes patience and resolve, so I say:
Present yourself as a King or Queen…treat yourself as your would your best friend. Grow up and into your body that you now realize is your only real home. Internal Narcissus believes this is called real-time, adult, state of grace living. Quantifying that we need to no longer act like little children, for the children of this world need its elders to be centered and present adults. To be their fearless leaders in a world that is dangerous and deceptive. Children should not have to worry about their parents. We must wake up to provide everything they need to grow up and prosper, and at the same time leaving them an Earth better than we found it.
Please know there is a difference from being childlike and acting like a child. Painfully I know this all to well, and it took all four years of this work to earn the vision and gift to see its totality. Having never grown up or had responsibilities that force one to at least half grow up: I was sadly lagging in this area. No matter now, we learn forgiveness for self, and others ‘like there is no tomorrow” on this path.
I raise a call to action to all reading this blog, it is time to wake up and leave the world of innocent and the beauty of youth, for those who are happily, painfully, and exquisitely in its throes. The rest I ask you to wake up and take your place to provide and protect this world together.
Everyday that we resist the call to Grow-IN we deny ourselves the chance to catch up to our body and self in real time. We loose the chance to Grow-UP and shake the disease that is keeping us blocked in fear and living behind walls mortared with ego, fear, and pride.
Questions: What do you present yourself each day? What are your working on to leave your mark? What were you born to do, but cannot until you free your mind from ego by going inside to meet self, first?
Ego will bar people from their dreams. No matter how good we are at the game ~ because in truth there is no game. Action is needed compliancy is stillborn, so what will we have to be presented to wake-up? I lived this waking up process for 4 years, so I know how hard it is to do the presenting, but what would you give to stake your mental constitution in a way you have never perceived before, for you, for your family, and the greater good of all?
Let me know, for I am more than ready to start this conversation.
Kellie J. Wright
Voice of Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys, Inc.
* P.S. In meditation this morning found that my solar plexus chakra is closed, too. This makes perfect sense, for if I cannot be open in this aspect then I do not have 100% faith in myself. I worked desperately to find my truth in my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd 90 day transformations.
The 1st inner child work and relationship work opened my heart, but it closed back up. Which lead to my 2nd 90 day transformation: centered around moving from mind based thinking to heart based. My third was a paralyzer of twin flame mirror work. All from someone who had never worked with chakras before, or knew what a twin flame was. I did my best, and always tried harder at every fall, and have grown amazingly.
Now in my 4th 90 day transformation it is clear that working to keep all chakras open and flowing is going to be the focus of my daily practices from now on. This is decided, for I will not lose staked ground.
Trust me that when you do start your transformation work, you will wonder what took you so long. I am ever amazed. Assuring you that once started the commitment to find and free your inner truth will give rewards past your expectation’s.
Thinking on my new finds this morning opens a whole new sense of Aha! Of course I have to go back in to open solar plexus. Vividly, and solidly with a claimed inner truth that is new and profound and something I could have never found until now. I will share my work in week 12 check-in! Shine Bright Beauties! Your all you got!
The third chakra is the center of willpower. While the Sacral chakra seeks pleasure and enjoyment, the third chakra is all about the perception of who you are.
OMGoodness ~ I love this work! http://www.chakra-anatomy.com/solar-plexus-chakra.html
Dear Inner Circle,
Chapter Seven, The Self, A Beginner’s Guide to Jungian Psychology is my Shangri-La. I assimilated all of my knowledge from collective conscious and divine interverntion. So reading this book, last quarter, is an exclamation point on my last four years transformational work. I laugh and settle in with a glow that a parent gives a child when they know they have learned something on their own, but that nothing is new.
After many nights of dark shadows in my fourth transformation over the last few months; where I was feeling blocked, stunted, and in a creative funk. This chapter provides the passageway to a place to find comfort and likeness with those who have come before. Where I can make sense of my ups and downs. This is why my heart illuminated two nights ago; breaking free in a peace of mind so close to total comfort that I have not been able to access for any stayed length of time in a while. Alas, this is the journey at this level of work. We truly are all one, and once this path is started there is no desire (for very long) to not continue. It is a oneway ticket to bliss, and one that feels more comfortable on than not.
Inner soul, child, mental work ~ is the best gift in life. Albeit it is dark, tight, and confining at times. It on the other side is the most bright, beautiful, and defining place of love. Learning to love yourself the whole way through and accept your dark and your light is everything. For once we know who we are, we make peace with who we became, we learn to let go of held pain and fear. Insisting that we are fine and feel more comfortable in our wholeness. Ultimately creating less highs and lows in a balance of stability.
After my 3rd 90 day transformation my then boyfriend and I pulled off saving our relationship through twin flame madness. Only to fail and cause each other so much more pain. My heart went to Arkansas with friends to work there and to lick my wounds. It really was the starting stages of the sacred healing part of my journey. Learning to let myself feel and grow through all of the rage, pain, and whatever came up with no shame or judgement. Not letting myself bypass the process, and it became a disheveling of the self through the ages. Freeing stored up energies from my youth forward.
Looking at the three stages of Individuation as I now know them. I see that with knowledge buried deep inside, and the desire to heal on my own through the transformation’s I followed Jung’s path. Eerily too, Internal Narcissus, wow, it still blows my mind. The connection to this book, and chapter seven right now is felt deep in my chest. In the tree of me where I have ripened to its knowledge. Earning another sacred tool to mange and keep my inner alignments in sink with the now.
I am where I should be. In a long line of others that have come before. Trudging and sailing through the inner realms of shadow and light. A life long seeker in an ever expanding universe. One that is still in full expansion. Ever moving, evolving, and so shall and will I, too.
There is no way to sum up the Self, nor to adequately describe all the challenges life presents once one has developed a conscious relationship with the Self. Though through the three separate stages of Shadow, Anima/Animus, and Self, there is only one continuous process – The relationship between consciousness and the Self. ~ Robin Robertson
Your pain does not make up who you are. It does trap you from being who you never become. ~ Kellie J. Wright
Someone close to me said they do not want to do a 90 Day Transformation because they felt all of the pain, rage, fear, and suffering in their life has made them who they are, and some of those things are very fine. Ah, the edge to an edge, I get it.
Ego’s pain, fear, rage, and anxiety does shape and color our personality and thoughts. Making this feeling a very real illusion, and one mixed in equal parts of you. I agree that this is an honest and sincere fear that needs exploring. This is also work that we do in a transformation, so have been here many times before.
There is no doubt that I spent much of my life with regret, envy, and pain. I did not know this when I started, but will honor and pay homage to things that once kept me down. The want’s and could not have’s all piled up in my life locker always stalking and blocking me from the beauty of God and love. What I had put behind that door was heavy. Misunderstandings by a child of divorce heaped upon self blame and not good enough had my little girl convinced that her heart would literally break in two, if and when she should ever confront the loss attached the the assumed pains.
Fortunately one day I had enough ~ at the end of another failed relationship, and in deep contemplation saw I was the only constant in my life and knew there was much more work to be done. A lot more than what I had always done. Luckily I was ready…blessings came! A full pardon in another veil dropped, my eyes opened up for a second time.
The real work began and my life started in earnest. I learned that all the bad things happening off and on in my life was the fear unprocessed kept trapped inside of me from that still little broken child. Everything was fine when I felt in control, but if lighting struck, it was a mini madness session. This kept happening no matter how hard I tried for it not too, or how successful I became. She would come out to wreck havoc when my fear of rejection or abandonment was triggered. It was clockwork. Same patterns, same conditions, same outcomes.
I honestly believe that a 90 day transformation saved my life. It is the fastest and most sincere way to heal inner child, and this is all about liberating the child from the mind. To connect to our real time self in current status. Please do not get me wrong on the outside my life looked fine, managed, and only those close to me knew my intimate suffering. It is so odd to look back and know that it was orchestrated all to protect me from further harm.
So thankful to have woken up from the slumber that kept me trapped. I learned a lot about perception and denial in the last four years of inner child work. Most importantly though…I learned to forgive myself for what I did not know then, to release and let go of persons, places, or things trapped in my mind.
No longer a child anymore, waiting for Daddy to come back and get me, or Mother to open up and share. I had to learn how to self soothe from the center of my soul. Nothing outside of me. Self-worth resides on the inside, and it cannot be given or bought. We have to believe so much in our self-worth that it is an all day, everyday, no matter what the bank account, or title on the car reflects natural occurrence.
Love and Life are a Circle of Bliss, and yes we will change when we let go of our story, but it will be the release of a thousands wingless nights that bound us to our thoughts. In a transformation that lifts and shifts us into a beautiful butterfly. With wings free to soar loosened from the heaviness of our deepest affliction’s.
Kellie J. Wright
Voice of Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys, Inc.
P.S. If you are reading this…and there is something you would like to transform in your life. Please tell me what it is, so then we can start a conversation in real. I have three more spots left for the spring 2017 course. Another course is starting October 2017.
Please know that I only work with four clients at a time because this is private, personal, and deep processing work. Learning to love yourself, so you can love others is journey. It is a quest for knowledge, and how we learn to grow. I sacredly honor each journey as if it were my own.
Dear INner Circle,
Total truth is necessary. You must live by what you say. ~ Neem Karoli Baba ❤
I was living up in Big Bear Lake, CA a while back. This was shortly after my 3rd 90 Day Transformation. My HR manager and I became friends, and had good conversations with each other. At one point she asked me a question that I answered, but where she was going with what I said made me stop her by interrupting ~ to let her know that’s not what I meant.
She reminded me that it is my job to take the time to say what I mean. This was a big learning curve for me because I use too many words. A poet, writer, deep thinker, and lover of words that tends to elaborate. This Aha! moment made something very clear to me, and ultimately more important; I had to take responsibility to know what I mean and am saying.
This became a big part of my growing up. Taking time to think before I speak. Making sure to clarify afterwards. Spending time with me to learn and know who I am, so I can be that person fearlessly. Words are powerful and if not used right can lead people to many different conclusions.
Right or wrong this happens to many of us, and most people will never take the time to explain what they thought they heard, either. Causing deep channels in many unseen ways. So, go slow, be careful, and take the responsibility to mean and then speak with words that are YOU.
Never be afraid to speak your truth. Communication is what we are given as our number one tool in this life. It is more important for us to know our truth, and speak what we believe then worry about the outcome. If we are speaking our truth then the outcome will lead us in the right direction not off twisting in unknown swells.
Love, Kellie J. Wright
Dear Inner Circle,
I recently found out that reply emails from the blog posts were not reaching me. Something happened in an update, and unfortunately do not know how long this was going on. I apologize to anyone who wrote an email and never received a reply, it hurts me to think of this. Please know the problem is resolved, and reach out again, for you are not alone.
All my very best,
I am honored to offer a 90 Day Transformation to a spirit led connection. This is a pay-it-forward angel funding.
“The realm of possibity exists inside each of you.” Quote from The movie, Pay it Forward
To be considered for this 13 week one-on-one coaching please reply back to this email with an answer to this question:
If you could transform one thing in your life what would it be, and why?
Kellie J. Wright
Internal Journeys, Inc.
“I believe in your self worth.”
Quote from Pay It Forward:
Trevor McKenney: I think some people are too scared, or something. I guess it’s hard for people who are so used to things the way they are – even if they’re bad – to change. ‘Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses.
Quote from two time graduate of inner-self work though guided 90 day transformations:
“I want to take this opportunity to encourage all who feel called to be a better version of themselves- to take the first step in living an authentic life and transform your INner you.”
Dear Inner Circle,
Download on February 24, 2017
Today is the day that I stop. No more seeking I am found. My heart center is open I have read my mind, and it says free from fear. I understand how to tame negative thoughts, if they try to come, and I am able to stay centered in the calm of my own circumference. I love openly and truthfully. If anyone can affect me it is someone that I love/d and there is room for growth there, so will open up in surrender to any that shall surface.
Dear God, I surrender to all of your beautiful mercy, and all of the ultimate oneness that is the universe. I surrender to you, God, I believe you. I trust you, you speak to me and I hear you, and that is all that is needed. I pray for the light of all to shine from deep within, and to know you in silence and its healing components. It is true that I do not know, or, understand how all of this works when I pray, but know that it is where I find peace and solace. A communion with the universe that gives a deep sense of wholeness. I am sure that the prayers of others has helped me along the way, so will pay-it-forward in continuing to pray for all, and asking to be closer to you everyday.
Love, Kellie J ~