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Just Let Go

Sep 7, 2017


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“We have to let go to move forward.” ~ Kellie J. Wright

Dear Inner Circle,

“Just let go”…it is what I heard whispering to me as I sat comfortably underneath the warm water drops hitting my body. Arms wrapped happily around my legs with forehead on knees in my favorite spot.

I feel connected in water, and when moving, or resting, but never sitting still.

“Stop moving”…is what I heard months ago in the exact same place. While meditating in water. Immediately was confused, for I was not sure if it was stop moving literally because I move a lot, or if it meant fidgeting.

I am always stretching, moving, adjusting my bones, cracking them, so much it feels like I am trying to stretch out of my body. Like I do not fit in it, or something. ~ At least that is the conclusion I came to one day (LOL).

This is why one of the main focuses in my 5th 90 day transformation is dedicated to focused meditation. It is me trying to break out of my norms. Making myself do things differently, so to defuse a pattern. Trying a different way of viewing or observing my ways both inside and out by creating a new practice, for a different way of being.

I know my personal ways of reaching in and reaching out. I am a dream worker and a water worker, and this is my signature way, so will not give them up. They brought me here. Four transformations later, and a better woman that I could have ever dreamed. Yet, it is time to break out of the old to try to know something new.

Looking at other peoples ideas and suggestions, taking what resonates, and putting forth the effort to maybe see through, break through, and feel different things, differently.

You know, really shake this masters shift. Nothing changes if nothing changes, and life is too glorious to keep being the same all of the time. Especially if you have gone as far as you can, and you know there are always other ways to try.

So this cosmic misfit will build today from where I am.

What else can I do, for it is all I have. Now is all any of us has. We must start from where we are full of wonder and awe…letting go of old ways by blessing them with the new.

This means the glorious dream of a beautiful meditation room where I can sit for long periods of time connecting to higher conciousness cannot come to life if I am not already building it one step, one thought, and one minute at a time.

Meaning the ideas and dreams we have of what we wish or want in our lives do not come to life by just thinking, wishing, or saving them on Pinterest. We have to shake up and out of our routines to create the new cause and effect in our ripples.

I am thankful for the time given to myself this morning to unwind and put this in the light. It feels like water and sunshine of the soul-kind. Nourished and finally ready to make this move.

Knowing now that it was not moving out of my home, or to stop trying to stretch out of my body. No, it was to learn to be still. To reach in further, and get ready to know more than I ever knew I could (again).

I do know the way. Have been here before, many times, and the starts ended up as false starts. No worries though, for this is how we grow, this is how it all works.

We are living works of art…each breath a chance to take a baby step that will coax us forward on a brighter path than before. Each calculated choice trying to slowly break old patterns, so to not circle, and breach forth into something new.

My advice:

“We have to let go to move forward.” Just stop holding on to whatever it is we are scared of…let it go, or let it in, but losing that grip frees our internal navigation heartstrings to play the right keys of self to open doorways of forgiveness and perception that can take us anywhere.


Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

P.S. IN 5th 90 Day Transformation started August 27, 2017. I am on day 10 of 90 days of hot yoga, and starting today to build, and or create my very first meditation place/spot/altar outside of me, so I can learn to focus and sit still. This is uncomfortable for me, a new part of the journey, but will stick to it. Now adding 30 minutes meditation every AM and PM for the remainder of the transformation.

Inner Circle Share

Sep 6, 2017


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Dear Inner Circle,

Re: My blog, I Never Believed IN Altars.

The post below was shared with me last night, and I received it upon waking this morning. It touched my heart as it is a powerful and beautiful way to think about meditating, so am sharing here tonight.

Internal Narcissus truly believes that “It is from and through each other that we grow in our greatest leaps and bounds.”

You don’t need to build physical altars to aid in the meditation process.
Envision your altar and you will find yourself doing both…creating an altar and meditating. I love meditation. I’ve become a pro at it. Anytime and anywhere. Silent or active. Moving or still.

Let me know if you need any suggestions or help. Altars are simply sacred spaces where your tools of focus are lain out and prepared for you to use in an intentional manner. You can choose what those tools are or aren’t…spiritually, intellectually, physically, and otherwise.

No two altars are identical. Nor are they used the identically with exact/identical intent.

Maybe your physical altar is a shelf, kitchen counter, or end table in the living room with a lamp, your animal totem cards, some dream interpretation books, and a copy of the karma sutra.

*Sex can definetly be used during, and/or as, meditation.

I sometimes like to meditate in the bath tub while listening to music.

Maybe I might spray some perfume or light a scented candle and sit in the dark.

I might use writing, and/or write, as meditation or during it.

I use dance as a meditation technique.

Some people use martial arts.

You can have someone else help in guided meditation where they talk you through a session.

You can go outside for a walk or sit in the sun.

You can sing or speak. Repeat mantras. Etc.

It really doesn’t matter what or where. The main goal and purpose of function is to focus…on whatever you need to focus on.

Just like any other skill, it takes practice.

Starting with just five minutes until you’re comfortable is ok. Try to move on to ten minutes or fifteen. When you can do that consistently comfortable then try 20 or 30. Maybe you can do 60 or more. Maybe you only need 2. Progress according to YOU.


Thank you for sharing this with me, and allowing to share with our self love community at Internal Narcissus, Nettie Marie Glenn.


Kellie J. Wright
Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

PS This is what my meditation room with altar will look like. I am building one in my 5th transformation and will start small as was shown to me yesterday afternoon, and then confirmed by Nettie from her share. So will build as it feels right and timing aligns. The truest part of all of this is that we need nothing to connect to everything because we already are.

Photo Credit: Bohemian Pages.

Dear Inner Circle,

I never believed in altars. When I sit and breathe on it I guess it is because that I found it hard to believe in anything outside of me. I was one of the things outside of me. I looked for them, I dreamed of myself to find them, to be with them. I built myself up in a certain way to be in certain places. The woman that I created and the lifestyle she envisioned are nothing like the woman I am now, or have chosen to be.

I’ve been working spiritually for 4 1/2 years deeply, but my walk has been my entire life, mostly from my teens forward. My aunt is a healer, and guided me along the way as gently and as off leash as she could. I was given enough room to make sure I found my own words and way.

I worked on my own through my first “unofficial” 90 day transformation. When I downloaded the blogs that walked my mind out of darkness one week at time over twelve weeks, and really have just gone piece by piece with it every since.

Processing the fourth and fifth chakras in my first and second transformations. Then solar plexus and sacral in my third. Finally coming home to finish a nine month alignments next steps in chakras, one per month, that started in Arkansas.

When I was in the desert I bought a chakra book with all of the chakra crystals to go along with it. I love the book, and have used it at will, but never dove into it, too, deeply. Just picked it up, for when and what I was being shown.

At the end of each chakra chapter it guides to create an altar, for deeper meditations. I am not good at sitting still or sitting in meditation, for I am a water and dream worker, so meditation is in mindlessness through power walking/and or working out.

Have tried several times in the last two transformations to make this more of a committed happening. It never worked, for had not found the peace inside of me that I have now. Apparently it is time to create an altar.

Altar (noun)
1. an elevated place or structure, as a mound or platform, at which religious rites are performed or on which sacrifices are offered to gods, ancestors, etc.
2. Ecclesiastical. communion table.
3.(initial capital letter) Astronomy. the constellation Ara.
4.(in a dry dock) a ledge for supporting the feet of shorings.

In the past I rejected altars like I rejected being a goddess or warrior. It just felt strange to me, and suppose it will for a while. Thankfully we grow slow at Internal Narcissus, so to not miss a step.

This is all I know for now on it, and of course will live and grow out loud each step of the way.


Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Spiritual Transformation Guide
Internal Narcissus | Internal Journeys

P.S My 5th IN 90 day spiritual transformation to shatter final mirrors, to find my breath and body connection through hot yoga, and work on third eye activation at will through meditation started August 27, 2017. Follow me on my journey, your too, for we are all one.

Photo Credit: I found this meditation photo on Pinterest and am using it for my vision board.

The Gift of You

Sep 2, 2017


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Dear Inner Circle,

Learning to love ourselves so completely that to invite persons, places, and things into our lives is because we want to learn or get to know them, so to be with them, and not own them is the way. Opening up doorways to shared experiences that are both up and down while laughing and crying in truth and love.

Not needing these persons, places, or things to make us feel safe, loved, protected, or, to replace something inside of us that we have not learned to activate, yet, is a gift that only we can give ourselves, and a very real part of the transformation journey at IN.

When we learn to love ourselves like God does then we can see ourselves with no flaws. Perfect and whole as we came to be, and can now feel by letting go of the pain and fear attached to negative inside thinking. Awakened to live a life full of wonder, awe, and joy through experiencing the beauty that flows from and through all.

Love is good and fear is a liar. To be balanced in both is the turnkey to bliss.

Give yourself the gift and awe of you.


Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys
Voice at Internal Narcissus A Spiritual Transformation

Don’t Want

Aug 29, 2017


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Dear Inner Circle:

I wrote this February 24, 2016:

I don’t want to be a warrior or goddess. I want to be disarmed, dismantled, disrupting, and completely vulnerable. Human, fleshy, open and secure. With just a touch of magic, and plenty of humility. Always hungering to understand, always lingering a little bit longer to make sure, but then graceful enough to let go.

Oh my, how dedication to free ones self will keep walking us through all. Back then the thought of being a goddess exasperated me, and I did not want to be seen as a warrior either, but in truth, what else was I, really? I mean ~ now I embrace both in such a luxurious way I cannot and will not separate from them.

Internal Narcissus believes a Goddess has nothing to do with the outside of us, which is the part I was rejecting, oh no, it has everything to do with our sacred feminine hearts.

The Warrior spirit inside me is my life force demanding to Shine Bright in mind, body, and soul. No matter what it looks, or looked like on the outside, or felt like on the inside. Even through the most ridiculous happenings created in a life of a human trying.

It is not until we can learn to laugh at, what is perceived as, the most humiliating or shamed occurrences by self and others that we can truly be the pawn in our life too.

Acceptance of this is how we learn to take down our guards, so to courier in a cleansing light of reciprocity.

We do not have to take in what has been given to us as acceptance of self, we can give back kindness, we can breathe in love, we can reject unholy and negative ways of reacting no matter the circumstance.

For is it always better to lead with a clear heart and meet our certainty on the battlefield of life with intent and vigor while being as disruptive and disarmed as we so choose.

Letting go is letting in when processed in the right frequency. Being a warrior, and, or a goddess are choices.

To everyone out there fighting the good fight, I want you to know that you are not alone, you are never alone.

Today I stand up to “don’t want” proclaiming that I am both warrior and goddess. Shinning bright in my dark and my light of who I came to be. ~ You can too, open your heart.


Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Spiritual Transformation Guide at Internal Journeys ~
Voice of Internal Narcissus

Self Love

Aug 22, 2017


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Dear Inner Circle,

Never more true words and exactly why I started this journey a long time ago. IN complete surrender knowing that I had gone as far as I could on my own anymore. This is when I wrote, though deep water works meditation, the 12 blogs that walked my mind out of darkness, so to finally free myself from me.

We all come to a point for different reasons in our life when we ask ourselves who am I? Or, how do I keep ending up here, or maybe we want to change a pattern, but do not know how. I thought when I started this journey it was to find true love in another…

Oh was I ever wrong. I was looking for me, and me is not all that I found, for I found so much more than I could ever have wished. I found myself, my self-worth, became self-aware, found respect for self, found more broken parts to heal than I knew existed, and was excited because I knew I could heal them with my time, love, and effort.

There were so many unknown parts of self, too. Parts that I learned to laugh with and at: my pride, ego, and fears. Meeting the false self that I had built over time across my life when I was still half asleep and working from the I. Then learning to love her so much that she stopped beating us up when she felt scared, dismissed, not heard, or rejected.

This is what self love does for you. It takes you through yourself to find your way out. So you can be who you want to be in your now, not who you became along the way….it creates a foundation to stand on that is full of true love for you just the way you are.

We can only love another as we love ourself, so if we are still caught inside of places we do not love, we will be triggered at some point eventually, and how ever we learned to cope will be unleashed on the person or people who have triggered this in us.

It just does not have to be so. You do not have to hurt yourself or others, and you do not need to be alone either. We can all grow-in together.

At IN We are learning to love ourselves, so we can truly love others. It is is a circle. We have to be able to receive love as well as give it, if not we are only participating half way.

Love, Kellie J. Wright Voice of Internal Narcissus and Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Journeys #selflove #transformation #spiritual #guide

August 7th Full Moon

Aug 7, 2017


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Dear Inner Circle,

Today I tended Mother Earth. My yard, plants, bushes, and flowers. ~ So much goodness in this giving and sewing. It was sad to see how far gone I had let things become. Everything was thirsty and overgrown. 😞 I’m new to this. It’s my first home with a big yard to tend. When I moved in it was perfect, lush, gorgeous even; then winter came with all the beautiful snows. Snow became a vibrant spring which bloomed many beautiful flowers.

Then, all of a sudden, I was sitting in the middle of a dehydrated and dying yard. I had let her go. ~ It happens more than I think, in life, sometimes when we start tending one thing so much then we get caught up and let others things and places fall apart.

Thankfully, I have been leading myself to this for a few weeks now. Lessons pulled from The Lotus of Wisdom, Pensatia, and my heart knew exactly what to do this morning. Grace hit me in a perfect balance and turning point with this full moon/solar eclipse month of August.

I am learning to reconnect with Mother Earth ~ which is my physical body, while attending my conscious cravings to always seek further. I put down my books and got out of my head to be one with spirit.

It was time to make room on the outside of my being, so to invite forth new growth and beginnings to come shinning through. It makes so much sense. I know this too, it’s just that its hard to get it all running smoothly sometimes.

Me, myself, and I are good. We are home, rooted in, and now it’s time to make my surroundings and interiors of my home-sweet-home shine bright too.

Reassuring myself that I can do both at the same time, it will just take some practice, and getting used to. I got this, thanks auntie for helping me today, and now I will go turn on my sprinkler. Wow, Who would of thought!


Kellie J. Wright

#motherearth #gardening #summertime means my garden and trees need watering from me too! I love you Creator and Mother Earth! TLF

Good Vibes

Aug 6, 2017


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Dear Inner Circle,

This morning hit me like:

When you know you have been writing and growing through fear and false self your whole life, and after four plus years in the grandest journey of Self Discovery ~ finally get to the place inside of your Heart Center that you can start writing from Love.

Oh my goodness I am humming IN bliss. This is what I have been working so hard for and knew it since seven months into the birth of what became the Internal Narcissus Project of Self Love.

To be free from fear we must negate all of its holdings. This is how we shine bright from a heart center that knows only love. I have so much more to share, and will each day as it comes to me.

One thought at a time we can reprogram our brain to choose love over fear.

Self Love is being Self Aware. To be Self Aware is to know your Self Worth, so you can then work hard to achieve Self Mastery.

Mastery of Self is the light in the dark that keeps us coming back for more.


Kellie J. Wright

“Mind over matter then matter over mind. What you see is what you get, and what you see is what you feel.”


Aug 4, 2017


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“Blissful is a life that has a mind that will choose no other alternative.” ~ Kellie J. Wright

It is such hard work, but after four years of practicing and guiding others (which enforces the lessons I walked through, so I am growing again and again with my clients).

~ This makes so much sense, and is easier to be everyday!

Love you and your life in all of their shades of light and grey ~ and then you will know how this law of attraction and living from love works.

It is your story, so what is it? I did not like mine, so made a conscious decision to change the story which in turn helped me find then shine bright in who I came to be, not who I ended up along the way.


Kellie J. Wright
Transformation Guide
Voice of Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys

One thought at a time we can reprogram our brain to choose love over fear. Reply to this email to set up a consultation to find our how.

Selflove is being Self Aware. To be Self Aware is to know your Self Worth, so you can then work hard to achieve Self Mastery. Mastery of Self is what every professional in every area of life works on everyday to be the best at their lives, dreams, and goals.

Why should you or I be any different? We all have the right to Shine Bright!

We are all diamonds, mountains, gold, roses, love, truth, laughter, joy, and we all got this.

Dear Inner Circle,

Testimony from Transformation Client No 5:

Hi Kellie! I’ve decided to write positive ways you’ve taught me to let go what is holding me back, or rather what is no longer serving me: To acknowledge my self-worth (can’t return to ignorance). To respect the value of my life. To be my authentic self, and realize that is good enough (even great!). To cultivate my tribe :), recognizing that I am myself a friend, to myself. Find my people and a few precious activities, and love them fiercely. Make sure I say no to what is not instinctively right for me, but also conversely to say ‘yes’ to what will (or might!) bring me joy. Practice being mindful and enjoying and looking/feeling right now presently. Stop comparing myself unfavorably to other cooler people (well, stop comparing myself at all!). Use myself as my own standard and realize I am worthy. Love and forgive; both old (perceived) slights, and as an automatic response going forward. It is so much more fun to love than it is to judge or worry over or wonder about. Just KNOW that I am who I am supposed to be, and where and when I am supposed to be. Have high self-worth, and love myself too!

This is personal work, so give clients the option to remain anonymous. 🙂 I am so proud of this woman and the work we did together. God is so good when we let him!


Kellie J. Wright
Transformation Guide
Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys