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Dig

Sep 28, 2015

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“I want to grow old with you.” Photo and Quote By, Jaymz Kennedy

Dig

A lot of times in life people run away instead of digging-in. Dig-in, I know it’s hard, for I was a runner most of my life, but once we slow down we will understand who we are and can understand the thoughts of another. It is when we can understand the thoughts of another in a lexicon of love that we can help each other through the sidewinding gates, stony paths, and over hot rocks ~ all the way into the coolest ocean to breathe again free. True love will last and test us, but it will never leave us alone, for it it will find a way through.

I have watched people run from love and watched people dig-in to stay. Never until now have I seen the grace and the beauty in those who hang on to dig-in. Especially when other people are quick to judge because things happen or appear to go wrong and they need us to react in a certain way, so they can feel safe, so that we can make them feel safe. Here is where I dare you to be your own boss, your own judge, and your own spectral guide.

Sometimes we just need to slow down and not move so fast. This world has created many ways for us to escape our feelings and not deal with the pain and lose of love, so if we can, we must be brave and prove otherwise. I ask you these ultimate questions “What do you have to lose by trying? What do you have to lose by digging deeper? What are you loosing by not taking another chance? What if you have everything to gain then wouldn’t it be worth everything to hang on?

If you come this far shouldn’t you dig deeper then ever before and double down ~ go all in? People are worth it, love is worth it, truth and acceptance are worth it. We are beautiful creatures, so plagued with drama and ridicule from ourselves, let alone others ~ is it not time we lift each other up and support people to be who they are not who want them to be? To love each other through it all as we are growing-in. Helping each other shed light on darkness, so love can prevail. Choosing love over fear, no expectations, just illumination…

Internal Narcissus believes when we choose to love someone we choose to love their light and their dark, and all of the moments in-between. Honoring all of their wounds and places of darkness as much as their light and ability to love. These balances will shift and change as we heal each others inner happenings through love, acceptance, caring, and forgiveness. No one said it was easy to find true love, life is not a Disney movie, and it hurts to be a human-trying. Especially one that is trying to heal, but it is through this pain that we bloom to resurrect in the gold.

I found that it is through the deepest surrender of self and disrobing of pride that we can care and love another for who they are without expectation, and forgive ourselves for who we are when we react in that sameness. Remarkably, this is how we become the enlightened beings that we came here to be, there is no other way.

Loving someone means loving them the whole way ‘around’ the moon and back, and we all know their is a dark side to the moon. We are the light and dark of each other and the music in the song that keeps us coming back for more.

Comfortably, Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

Dedicated to Caz Wilding. My Twin Flame, who helps me grow in the deepest darkest most freezing and freeing ways I could ever have know. There are no words to thank you, so I will simply love you, always.

Sometimes

Aug 27, 2015

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Why do you always think what you see is the lesson, or what you feel is the truth? Sometimes these are just the caveats, and or side effects to the real lessons to be learned. This quote was given to me by spirit the other day “Sometimes everything has to happen, for something to happen.”

This is where I ask you to open your mind to expand your horizon, and to not dive into the moments happening so quickly, but rather to stay still ~ maybe even sit right down in the middle of them if you must, but I beg you to please STOP to listen further and ask many questions, for sometimes the first reactions are not the cause or real, they are merely explosions blocking out reason.

Once these blasts calm, fits silence, pouting stops, or mourning subsides the first day of reckoning can bloom and real business can start. Intended lessons can be revealed when we are quite never when we topple over or run by them. ~ I know this is hard and tricky stuff here, for there are many lessons deep within memories muddled between life journeys mixed in different people and places that it can become overwhelming because we are all connected, and because we effect each other from the top of the monarchy down: until this place becomes radical and unsafe.

This is why we have to try to be so careful with each other, for we have the ability to affect everyone that we are in contact with when perceived lightening strikes. When we chose fear over love and react, or, do not react by blocking. Either way we are affecting all we love when we harm ourself by not not growing through intended lessons. These shifts are emotionally charged and armed with our survival mechanisms. They create energies in these moments that derail love and peace, and do damage that is sometimes un-repairable when we take the form of these loose cannons.

Internal Narcissus believes this is why we are drawn to each other though. This is why we find each other too, so we can try to grow and heal with matched frequencies and unlearned lessons carried forward in our soul journeys. The further we have gone in our soul work the more perfect our matches become, but in turn the harder deeper work that is still needed to be done is matched too.

This is why I use dream work to move through soul memories. I dive deeper to find where we left off before once found again in the here and now. This is also why I try to be present and curled up in current time. Reading our stories out loud to each other in the safeness of confidence and trust bestowed upon another. Creating real time chapters in our book of reasoning and knowing. Believing that we are explicitly beautiful on our own, but even more so as a team trusting that everything is happening for a reason.

Oh my goodness this does not mean that we go through these things gracefully all the time, or that we will not stumble and fall with wreath in hand while planning a mass exodus in fear. I assure you whoever you were/are will show up in the middle of learning how to do this thing called life better. It will happen, but if you have done your work then you can start to call it quicker, and stop the insanity sooner.

Learn not to punish yourself or others in the middle of being human. For we will do things that push us and the people we love to our limits, but these limits can become arms of clarity once we learn to love each other like Jesus would, like God does, like Buddha, like Mohamed, like Great Spirit ~ Like a saint would, as Creator does.

It says love thy neighbor, and is says, do unto others as we would do unto ourselves. I pray right now that we can love ourselves, and do unto ourselves, so we can in turn truly love thy neighbors and do unto them as we would do unto our selves. So, this is where I repeat that we cannot love another ever, unless we truly love and accept ourselves. We can go through the actions, and we can do all the things that we believe are loving and look right on paper, but until we can sit in love with someone loving them and being with them in their pain while learning to not run away or react because we have dealt with ours, and understand how to, it is not love, but a version of love that we have sold ourselves on, or accepted a long time ago.

I believe these are the lessons begging to be learned, every-time, when “Sometimes everything has to happen, for something to happen.” It is so we can grow past our minds to find our inner truths and our inner reasonings that are buried deep within the well of our existence. To become conscious of life and all the beauty that she radiates from within us from one heartbeat to the next, one chest to another, one smile to other, one sometimes to the next…

Internal Narcissus at Heart, Kellie J. Wright

Brand

Aug 23, 2015

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“The heart has only one designer label, love.” Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

I cannot give you any self-wisdom because each of us is designed differently. It is our gift at birth from, God. We already have all of this knowledge within us, so you do not ‘need’ me or anyone else to set your wings a flight or breathe the air beneath your wings to set sail. There are some of us that were built to assist in this though…

Listen close, for this wisdom resides in the front of your throat and underneath the lungs in your chest. Pure magic called spirit the white light of love that resides inside of the place that we all come from ~ a kiss at birth from God/Creator, but it needs fresh air from here to lift our bodies rhythmic internal cosmic connection to this life.

See, I believe that when we die that we come back again. That we really do not die at all. It is a transmutation from one moment to the next inside of a breath that becomes a body filled with magic, the magic of eternity in the essence of unbridled love. That we use these bodies as actual breathing apparatuses for our souls to come down and participate with each other while here on planet earth. All facilitated, so that we can see, touch, feel, live, love, cry, stretch, grow, fall, ahhhh…as we all go round.

Internal Narcissus believes that life is not an accident that the travesties that happened are not accidents that the joys experienced are not accidents that lessons are chosen to be learned, and that we come in the body that we are to experience these lessons; that we chose our parents and our parents chose theirs to come and learn the lessons that I am that we are here to be.

This is why I beg for each of us to be easier and kinder to one another, to not judge each another’s journey’s, but to be a “soul-oriented” human who finds strength in weaknesses and weakness in strengths: both are chinks in our armor to teach us how to learn and grow through different layers of vision, perception, and understanding while here.

That once we can accept that our lives are predestined from the choices that we made with creator as we accepted them before we came here that immediately we can be in real time. Again, this is why I beg you to learn to love yourself and everything about your life not matter what it looks like on the outside.

This Includes where we are monetarily, financially, spiritually, even when our bodies are broken, bruised, or have been changed in mid-stay or how we were delivered that these are costumes and disguises in the shape of earthly lessons of destiny. I believe that it is important that we do what we came here to do and that is to learn in the bodies, in the people that we are here being at this present moment in time.

Let me qualify that we chose every second who we are and how we react…we exist in the middle of the bodies that hold us here and that we can change the way we feel about ourselves and our lives at any moment. That is once we give ourselves permission to love ourselves first and foremost exactly as we are, making the most of each moment.

Accepting that each person is uniquely beautiful while here on their soul journey, doing their own thing, and is exactly where they are supposed to be. No shame just doing the work, no stigma just living, just doing this thing called life the best that we can. Doing our part by keeping this machine running, the machine of humanity moving forward. The planet is a machine of life that is built of life and is a living breathing entity ~ all moving parts are needed. Never discounting the fact that we are happening, and this is creators world, not ours.

I will admit that I do not know the whole reason why and I will commit again and again to keep questing, trying to dive deeper, meditate more, and listen further to maybe earn the right to hear and share those answers, but until then I implore each of you to love yourself, so you can love others. ~ I do not think we have to have all the answers to be faithful to God and love. In my belief I follow my heart and intuition am spirit led 100%. My number one weapon is that I do not care what it looks like on the outside. I wear my faith and brand of love inside out.

My mind perceives and goes to distances that others do not and probably do not want too, but this is my life journey ~ my choice before I came here, and what I am designed to do. This does not mean that others cannot ~ it only means that we have different lessons to learn this life around. The beauty of this is that we all come from the same place with One designer, God.

This is why clothes do not make the man per se, and that true beauty resonates from within once we connect in real time with creator knowing that we are one and are never alone. That we have nothing to fear and that love is the only way through. We are designed from pure love and this brand is sewn into our internal DNA from birth, one life to another becoming stronger and more beautiful as time goes by.

God’s plan is so much bigger than any of us, and why is a question we can all ponder forever, or, we can do our very best every day to be present and mindful. Commited to be the best person we can be while here on planet earth. Walking a life with passion and love. Caring for one another as each day is gifted to us. Knowing that if we spent the same amount of time lifting each other up as we do trying to conquer, divide, and protect ourselves from each other, both mentally and planetary, that life and the world could at once start shining brighter.

John Lennon said it the best “Imagine all the people living life in peace.” I believe we can all exist inside a world of peace if we create it, but it starts within each one of us. We cannot change persons, places, or things, only ourself, singularly, one thought at a time by choosing love over fear, and doing the next right thing. Thus affecting others by being the change we want to see in the world.

Internal Narcissus at Heart, Kellie J ~

Youtube

Aug 19, 2015

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This morning I saw that my FB friend from Australia, Robert Mittiga, liked a comment on one of my old posts with my youtube page link. It took me back in time to my 2nd 90 day transformation that was to become Organized in mind, body, and soul. I was spirit led from my home state of Washington to Malibu, CA for Oct and Nov at a retreat in Latigo Canyon ~ then back and forth between WA state and LA during the holiday’s before I was again spirit led to Sky Valley, CA. Wow!!! Looking back now….that was wild. 🙂

I checked-IN by video blog for 13 weeks as I lived and grew out loud. You can watch the transformation and the toll it took on me, for this transformation was intense and took me to the dark night of my soul. Fortunately, I made it, and you will too…take a chance to change the way you feel about yourself by doing the hard soul work. I promise you that the other side of you is so amazing! I am more than ever an Internal Narcissus, are you?

Follow me on my journey as it continues during my 3rd transformation that is a transformation in body…believe me it is not what it sounds like, but those results are turning out to be pretty amazing side effects/perks…

Here is the link to the my you tube videos, if you care to check them out, and please share them too because it is from and through each other that we grow in our greatest leaps and bounds! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMAv2OzI5CoUJEqf8XHyV7w/videos

Finally Comfortable IN My Own Skin, Kellie J. Wright ~ #internalnarcissus #transformations #mentalhealth #onelove #selflove #worldwideselflove #blogger #author #youdeservetoknowthetruth #shinebrightin YOU!!!

Swimming

Jul 30, 2015

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“We do not change the world, the world changes us.” Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

Last night, Caz, jokingly said to me “What do you think you are going to do change the world?” I said no, we cannot change the world ~ the world changes us. I will add that it is how we change ourselves internally that will shift our words round delivering an awakening of self-love that can range world-wide. Opening our hearts to truly love ourselves and others while participating in real-time as our authentic selves. My last two and half years did just this ~ thankful and full of gratitude I am finally at home in my mind.

I took this picture early this morning after my daily meditation, laps, and sit ups that have become a part of my morning routine in this 3rd 90 day transformation; this one is to transform the body. I am awakening my core resonance from the inside out touching every sinew of its flesh, organs, and all the lovely bones and joints in-between. This is so I can be present in both mind and body. I believe it is imperative that once we heal the mind we must heal the body, for the total mind body connection. This is the only way to truly be free to connect to spirit 100% in every level of the senses here on planet earth.

The picture attached to this blog is one that I want to share to show the beauty of the place that spirit led me and where I live, love, and heal more intensely each and every day. Finding and having true love, participating in daily: meditation, chakra balancing, swimming, power-walking, weights, mineral spas, and diet are all part of my morning and night rituals in this second round of awakening and healing that is setting this cosmic-spiritual-misfit on fire!

I have been moved to offer one-on-one retreats and am taking reservations. Each visit is personal and in real-time with spirit led conversations, meditations, yoga, planned meals, spa and mineral baths, and lots of rest and alone time to listen further. Contact me by email kellie@internalnarcissus.com ~ And so it is. Thy Will Not Thine.

I am Growing-IN and getting stronger every day with the intentions of my breath and desire to have a life worth having and sharing with others. Ready to guide and be with those who are ready for the next steps in their journey. While always insisting that we do not need to go far to find the oasis of our hearts to connect in real-time. Sending Love and Light.

Finally Comfortable IN My Own Skin,
Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus at Heart

Photo credit: Kellie J ~ Sky Valley, CA.

Distant Stars

Jul 15, 2015

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Distant Stars

The hardest part about finding true love is not letting it die when the duality of love and fear are rising inside the bodies of two lovers who want nothing more than to hold each other while staring into each other’s eyes. Desperately wanting to feel completely safe so they can be open, honest, foldable, and vulnerable. All in the middle of real-time knowing that certain words and frequencies are amplifying and clouding all reason in their galaxy of celestial stars.

Two shooting stars becoming distant and hazy in the sedation of wondering if they should let go when they so very want to hold on. Or, if they should hold on when they feel like they can no longer take the pain and just let go? Railing against the skin of their atmosphere holding them hostages while holding onto and trying to remember that God has his hand on everyone and everything, and that this is their chance for real growth.

In the distance finding faith to let go and let each other be just long enough to catch their next breath, find sure footing, and space to air out thoughts. Time to rest and to center their inherently good intentions that are being mixed to a volatile cocktail with their totally understandable, but misperceived proportions of doubt rising in flames trying to dim the sky of their hearts horizons.

I believe the most important part about loving someone is to love the things that we do not necessary like about them too. Honoring their humanness and well as their divineness: their darkness just as much as their sunlight. Insisting that loving someone means loving their ugly parts as well: the parts that are mean, fearful, and vicious at times ~ maybe even quirky. Our mask of fear worn for protection in the most fearful of times that still are being worked on in real-time participation. Yes, we all have them, we cannot deny, stuff, or try to hide them, because these masks are a part of who we are: the dark in the light of our universe.

This is why at Internal Narcissus we say that we have to love our self and others the whole way through. This duality can be very consuming almost devastating when it is a happening in real-time stings with our love ~ frequencies attached to old fears, past residues tied to negative thoughts left to wreck havoc on peaceful and loving minds will happen, and it feels and looks different on everyone; it is our pain.

And if you do not care, it will not hurt, but if you do, it will hurt more than anything in the world. The pain of not be able to calm your love in the throes of fear is the most consuming pain and can take you to places that you do not want to go, but there you are, weightless. Spinning in this cellular dark matter, pulling and pushing both parties to become distant stars, but Shooting Stars know better than to follow. So we rail and fight for love, but then there is that point, that one point, where so much has been taken, too much, and we fall…

Fall to the ground eyes tired giving way to flows of water because you feel you have lost, and think you feel nothing. Stuck hovering near your chest wondering if you could ever love them again. That their fear has won, stripping you of every feeling. Left drained, defeated asking if you could feel for them again, but then a light shifts and you calm, recalling that you know you have before. ~ Then the clouds part and a real first, fresh, deep breath is taken. The light has beat the dark again. The sun is shinning bright, love prevails and lessons of faith and trust now run deeper. New knowledge of each other has been assimilated, intimacy has returned in a robust and deeper red, and the bonds already strong are strengthened as the two shooting stars find their way home: which I believe is the safety of each others arms and hearts.

Internal Narcissus believes Love is a story that needs tending and care, whether we choose to the love someone and ourselves the whole way through or not. Encouraging everyone to find your light and dark, and know it well. Share it with your love, so you can help each other grow and brave internal storms. Mapping pathways to clarity when lightening strikes, so as to rail against the intruder fear. For Fear does not care for our happiness outside of us, it only wants to protect us from perceived pain inside. This is why we must heal our hearts, change our stories, clear blocks and triggers, and always, I mean always, grow slow while choosing to linger in love ~ both its dark and its light.

Finally Comfortable in My Own Skin,
Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

Father

Jun 21, 2015

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Today in commemoration of Father’s Day. I think about the three fathers that I have and how each raised me, the three uncles that married in and become a really big part of my upbringing, plus one blood uncle who was too for a brief minute in time. For it all too real that it takes a village and that we all rise when we raise others.

As children we cannot know the sacrifices our parents made, or why they had to make the decisions that they did, or how they gave up all to try and do the best they could when it looked like something else on the outside. I have my biological father, my father who raised me from eight weeks old to a tween, and my father who raised me from tween and is still the only father I’ve really ever known. He has lifted me up and supported me through all the good and the bad, and never stopped loving me the whole way through.

This shows that all lives are never easy, and the strength of some who are able to push down their own dreams and desires to provide and take care of their own. Sometimes with no other reward but the love of doing it and knowing that they are making a difference. It is in this moment that I would like to take this moment to tell my stepfather and daddy, James Strait, thank you. Also, to thank all the men mentioned above that helped raise me, thank you, for being in my life and each of their perfect gifts of being exactly who they were that helped me to become exactly who I AM.

Life is ever-changing and as we move and grow the best we can do to honor those we love and whom have loved us is to love them back the whole way through. Wishing love and happiness to them whether we see them or not. I am a firm believer in that we create the reality of our lives through our thoughts and dreams. That our life energies becomes the energy of our thoughts, and what we think about others, buried memories or present day, define and effect us and them in real-them.

So it is imperative that we be careful that we try not to judge and that we do our best to honor others and ourselves. Dig deep to find the truth and seek the honest answers of our stories. Internal Narcissus believes that we are all humans trying. That love, laughter, and breathing are the three crowning gifts given to us at birth that are woven into our internal DNA. That when we deny them is when we are sad and when we rage out against others and self. Causing internal and external wars ~ sometimes as close as the same bed, as as close as our own head. Thoughts that orchestrate our most passionate relationships to the ones that wage throughout the common day extending out to the boundaries of our placement, cities, states, continents, and other far reaches of this planet…I believe even further.

I pray today on Father’s Day that all fathers are loved and cherished for doing the best that they could or could not with the only tools they had at that time. Believing that we must honor the men in our lives for they to need feel loved and cherished just as much as the women and children do. So Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there including our most dearest father, Creator, who brings abundance to our lives everyday and has his hand on each and every one of us to learn who we came to be, and is ready to lift the veil of confusion at any second, so he can connect in real time with us once we realize he has always been there deep inside and within us.

Always,
Kellie J ~

Stop

Jun 13, 2015

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The problem that happens when we try to stop loving someone because we feel pain is that we are blocking ourselves from growth. We do this when we draw lines, tell ourselves we do not care, or know we care but cannot sit through the surrender of not knowing: all facilitated by trying to control our mind and the outcomes of situations by putting up stop signs, resurrecting walls, or all the shocking and glorious ways there are to block people in these modern days. The problem with this is that we are only hurting ourselves with a short term fix to an intended lesson of growth. The distance created an illusion in our mind keeping us from the truth of our feelings.

Honestly there is no graceful way to let go of something you want or love just by saying it is over. It really has to be a “letting be.” Feeding the love or hope of with love, and loving all the way through without expectations. Releasing the person to be free and in so releasing your self, so you can be free.

To do this one must walk in real time love choosing to be a vehicle for love. Transmuting love from the highest frequency, so the pain will dissipate, only then can one move on or maybe grow through the lesson provided. If love of another is in question the turn to self, love self, be with God/Higher Power, and know this to shall pass. If we can stop and listen further and be open to what will become; I think we will be amazed. It really is Expectations that turn love into fear, anger, jealousy, pain, and condemnation for either party, or maybe both.

This is not a pretty circle when fighting abandonment issues, and insecurities from having been cheated on and lied to. It is like coming at fear as a south paw when you are a righty. I am usually very good at separating the current happenings from old feelings, but man, when lighting strikes and perceived foundations shake all reason can leave in a heartbeat. No one is immune, if we have not done the work and practiced it. I say this because the people who would be immune would never be in these situations they have graduated past these lessons.

I have a blog called Moving and it talks about lessons learned are no good until we are back in life participating in real time and can be in participation with another. The last couple days has proven to be some of those days for me. I have had an internal fight to rail agains the intruder and foe of Fear; fear won. I was so close, but all situation are different. I fought valiantly to keep myself ahead of this unknowingness and the things that I’ve worked so hard for in the past two and half years to reign supreme, but until you are in real time doing this you do not know what will happen. The things I learned now being pulled out again to reexamine, so as to try to be stronger and not kill what I want or am in.

I am now taking time to sit down with self and remember the goal is to get to a place where I can let people be themselves and can love openly and freely. Letting love be free to fluctuate and grow in the frequencies that it is, so people and relationships can breathe and feel new. Once learned we will not STOP in the middle of a happening, and will allow for things to move back and forth naturally. Honoring the forward and backward steady ebb of slowly opening up self again to the peace and wonder of intimacy and love, and in doing so will always find a way to stay in a state of grace with open arms that are full of love, and maybe even grow.

Internal Narcissus believes that we have to rally against the intruder of Fear, the mind killer and trickster that will try to protect us when perceived foundations shake, but always do more harm than good. I was tested and could not stand up in my pain today, I faltered, and I am now going back to the blogs…the ones that were written to free me and surly need revisiting.

Always, Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

Prepackaged

Jun 7, 2015

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“Everything we are sold is prepackaged. Our food is prepackaged, our houses are prepackaged, our music is prepackaged, our entertainment is prepackaged; do not let them prepackage your soul.” Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

Everything in life is pieced together. Hand walked and mysteriously led as we blend and move in words and pictures. Visual stimulus and ocular orgasms conjured through rhythm, rhyme, tempo, and color. A coded psychology to put us into boxes of packaging for societies desired wishes and outcomes; but our internal readers know better.

They say follow your rhythm and tempo, follow anything that leads from the heart, from your soul strand. Do not let this mainstream world package your shine. Create your own packaging, design a label of your personal branding, the one you came with, for this is what our world needs.

It does not need us to redesign our bodies, or unfold our hearts to redress them in the latest fad. Rather we need to press ourselves out to the edges ~ stretching out as far and wide as we can to tend our pain and sorrows. Washing self clean with love and forgiveness while shaking out the poisons, toxins, fears, and restlessness. Yes, these are the items of prepackaging that we must eradicate, so that we can shine bright in the hues of our own intentions.

Choosing to tattoo love and joy across our bodies knowing that they will never fade or die. Creating testimonies and testaments to package the passions and travesties that have gone on or within, but are all still LOVE. Taking life as our gift in anyway that it goes, and knowing that our internal intentions and desires are brilliantly ours, and we suffer when we are not being true to our self. We must cleanse the Walls of our hearts. Take off all the designer brands, labels, miscued: assignments, arguments, and soundbites, and anything else that is bindings us that simply does not belong.

Stripping down to our nakedness while running through the rain of our heart that is cleansing our inherently good intentions. Yes, Hard Rain to dissolve all the triggers and blocks meant to open us up to the beauty that is us in the undivided quarters of the internal byways of our mind, bodies, and souls.

Internal Narcissus is refusing to suffer, anymore, from wrong packaging. Making a declaration to stand up resolute in how far I will let this unpack-aging take and excite me forward. For it is all too clear that we must be sure of what we are feeling, what we are thinking, what we think we know, so as to not let the weight of this worlds illusions keep us from the participating in what is the greatest joy of a human heart; which I believe is to give and receive love freely.

It is in this declaration that my words and thoughts become my own. Deciding to throw away unfinished songs, and create new ones, for Love is the master plan and we are never too old nor too far away from source or the long and winding road home we call love.

Always, Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

Patience

May 31, 2015

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Patience, she’s a virtue, she’s a star, she has hope sewn into the curtsy of her bow. She’s a titaness, she’s a replica of what is and what will be. She asks me to be kind and gentle with myself and slows me down in the middle of my day when my heartbeats hurry; there’s time she says, always more time.

Never look back she says, for you cannot catch up to something that is behind you. Keep your eyes steadily forward she says, take your time, go slowly, and focus on the horizon of your thoughts as you meditate them into a brand-new day with your good intentions and carefully chosen words.

Patience please, ahem, do not mix her up with her twin sister, Persistence. For if time is money and money waits for no one; Patience is fine right where she is. Patience catches her breath as she steps slower into the step that she thought she was going to step quicker into righting the circumference of her heart because she has knowledge of what really matters.

She is not a top 40 hit or a rock ballad ~ No, she is a sweet concerto of honorary first seats as solid as their second chair counter parts. High backed and sturdy, Patience knows her part is easy, she has walked slow enough next to Persistence while holding her hand that she memorized all of her parts: an understudy to a principle is as patient as persistence gets.

Patience showed up every day on time, and she listened to each and every word the whole way through. She came to learn not to pass-time, she presented things with care, she rose to the top. Happy enough with her journey of what she came here to do ~ not the one that was sold, given, or insisted upon her. Patience was Persistent in the one area of her life that meant the most to her, and that was her certainty of and in God.

Internal Narcissus believes Patience is Persistence and together they can weave a fire into your heart that can give you the strength to find out what really matters, so you may know the truth.

Always, Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus