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Dear Inner Circle,
It is my honor to share one of my clients works. This amazing woman is participating in her first 90 Day Transformation, but has done much inner-self work before spirit-led to work with me. We work hard, she is honest, brave, opens up, tells me what she is feeling light or dark, and walks hands down into her shadows when called. Fearless is a word that comes to mind. This morning she had a break through and the piece below titled ‘Standing On The Edge’ came to her ~ it would not let go. Ah, I know that call all too well, and thankful for her gift of sharing with others, for it is from and through each other that we grow in our greatest leaps and bounds. Please take your time to read and honor this wonderful woman’s process and gift for all:
Standing on the edge. The edge…the edge of what?
Standing on the edge of a cliff, trembling, with all of the darkness hugging so tightly like a cloak. Tiny tendrils whisping over me, whispering to me. Like so many voices whispering all of my deepest pieces kept so guarded, held so tightly. Pieces of uncertainty, anxiety, failures. FEARS. Some of them only potentials of “what could”, nothing actual yet to pass.
Overwhelmed by energetic change, so deep, so hard, so fast ~ led me to this edge. Breathe. One slow deep breath. Then another. Breathe until I feel my energy ground, flowing into the earth beneath my bare feet, growing, spreading tendrils like the roots of an oak tree- deep, strong. My roots reach out and touch the roots of nature around me. The energy back feeding up in to me. Spreading white light up through me and out. Surrounding me, bathing me in its brilliance, beauty, and protection. Shining light on my surroundings. Pushing back uncertainty, anxiety, failures, pushing back fear. As my balance shifts, my center returning, glowing and warm.
Curiously I peek out between my fingers protectively covering my eyes. What is this edge? Why am I here? What is out there? What is at the bottom? More curious, I remove my hand… Wow! What beautiful landscape! The dawn is slowly breaking, the sun gently lighting the eastern sky with rays of pinks, oranges, yellows. Spreading warmth. Softly waking the birds, the life around me.
Sunlight warming me, nature speaking to me, my courage builds. I step all the way up to the edge, knowing I am safe, I will not fall. Having absorbed the beauty of the vista, I look down. The ever growing sunlight pushing back the shadows of the depths.
As the shadows break away, what had appeared as the ever-growing stack of skeletons of all that came before shifted, changed. A twinkle here, a sparkle there. The remnants of all things previously released over that edge, safely protected below. Worn soft and smooth by the winds of time, washed by the cleansing rains, dried by the light of the sun. Sparkling and glistening like a vast garden of sea glass.
The beauty of this place ~ how did I not see? Fear brought me here, veiling my vision. The beauty of all of those pebbles- the memories of lessons past, gifted along my journey. All right where I had put them as my pockets had become laden with weight; tossing to the winds what is no longer needed, with the trust that it is well cared for. And it is. My ethereal child-like fingers releasing their grip on so many things that no longer serve my higher good. Guilt, loneliness, pain, loss, lack…all down there glistening like jewels.
Fear led me here today. Fear has always taken my hand to bring me here. The crux- fear will never lead me safely away. It never has…
With clear vision I see nothing to fear. Nothing. Reality in this moment is all there is. Fear has spoken to me, lied to me! “Come with me, I know the way, I will show you ~ believe in me, I will help you fix and control everything.” Oh HELL NO! Not this time! Fear you have fed me this once beautiful story so many times in the past. Guess what? You, my former friend, are full of shit!
Standing on this edge, considering all that triggered the fear that led me down the path this time. What am I going to add to the garden of glistening sea glass below? What am I leaving here this day?
Off you go fear! Followed by anxiety, uncertainty, failure. None of you have proven to serve me well up to this point ~ you are no longer needed, nor welcome, in the home of my spirit.
There’s more to join you- I wouldn’t want you lonely! Joining you
down there today are self-doubt, self-loathing, and self-harm. None of you are helping! I’ve so lovingly tended to each of you over the years and what have you done for me? Held me back, weighed me down, anchored me from soaring….
I have anchored myself from soaring… ME. No one else. Wait… aren’t I in control here?!? *sigh* No. Not really. I control nothing. Nothing. I do have CHOICES. I am choosing now. Choosing what I need based on what serves my higher good. Choosing to love self more than I love others. I choose me.
Realising tears of joy leaking from my eyes, I rise from my knees that I had fallen to, arms outstretched, bathing in the sunlight… of my newly emerging self firmly on my path to spirit-led life.
Will I come back to this place? Maybe. When I choose to. When I have things to leave to the beauty of the once unknown abyss…
I woke this morning with “Standing on the Edge” in my mind. It would not leave, which compelled me to write…wait a second! I hate writing! Don’t I?
I have written this with an open heart. My spirit was telling me it could help others standing on the edge, or swimming in fear, not realising the fear. In the process it has helped me (of course!), but I truly wrote it with the intent for you to share it if spirit leads you to do so. If these words reach one person- send it to that one. And it is okay to share with this post script, it wouldn’t be complete without it…
Written by: An amazing woman, Grace.
Dear Inner Circle,
Yesterday was the first day that I put on a backpack. It felt weird saying and acknowledging it out loud to the young girl helping me, and still feels weird writing it in this blog today. Exciting though! As I prepare for the endurance training to prepare physically for a Mt. Rainier summit climb with RMI Expeditions the end of July 2017.
Decided to rent this baby for training, and for the summit climb too. A new one runs about $300.00, and I have learned to slow down in life, so as to not get ahead of myself by future tripping.
There is no doubt in my heart that mountaineering is a new passion in life, but until the 14,410 feet summit climb is achieved ~ there is no way for me to be that truth, for…
…there are always unforeseen’s in life. And this is why we must learn to stay in our moments. Taking time to be with what is really happening in our reality, not in our desires and expectations.
Pay attention here, for this is an everything-truth that relates to our: relationships, dreams, desires, wishes, and goals. Meaning that if we stay in our now, creating in each minute happening ~ that we end up making the very best real-time plans, one building block at a time. This kind of being present is everything in life.
Internal Narcissus believe it is all that we have really have, for it is the infinity loop of now. This being when we get ahead of ourselves by becoming tied to ideas, or producing mini movies in our minds of what we think we want to have, or how to be, that we become stuck in-between our now and nowhere perimeters of illusion.
Not knowing the difference between reality and fantasy is dangerous and tricky circling behavior. I know, for I have been here more than once or twice in my life.
Better now that my life journey hand walked me to and through four deeply transformative transformation’s. Learning to see without seeing is a spiritual gift of cognition in a personal prescription of truth. Vision that I believe we all can use once we take the chance to venture outside our lines and decide.
Of course facilitated by making a plan and growing slow. Taking one step at a time while learning to stay centered in our thoughts. Promising to be with our each and very next breath taken while mindfully allowing life to unfold as the gift it gives.
Today, I am honoring the courage of the pioneers in thought that came before me. The brave souls who blazed the highway, byways, and deep crevices of self to find a way through the other side of self.
Never have been more sure of and accepting of all the intricate ebbs and flows of life, and their sacred lessons that give me the strength to go higher everyday!
My wish for you is to take life on a date! I did, and it is looking pretty good from where I stand these days!
Kellie J. Wright
Voice and Author
Love is light; a magical wave that breezes through the body and soul when in the right vibration. Nothing more, or less, for this is loves beauty in its natural state. Love does not have a meaning assigned to it…it is a truth that leads from the heart filling our minds, bodies, and souls with bliss when centered in its three alignments. ~ Kellie J. Wright
Dear Inner Circle,
For too long now, Love has been manhandled. Right down through that ages ~ morphing in and out of so many historical, cultural, and evolutionary changes that if we are not aware of this we may misuse love everyday, and in many ways that are deeply disturbing.
I do not believe that we want to do this, or be this, but we may be until we know otherwise. Do you feel that somewhere inside of you, is anything resonating? This truth is alive inside of us no matter how deeply buried.
Internal Narcissus believes that the truth of love exists within. The barriers to its harmonies are old ways of thinking stuck in memories that have become, what we believe are, our personal truths, but frankly are not.
Following a desire to know this finer truth as it slowly appeared opened my heart to truly see. It gave way to make a real-time connection to love filter-free. Returning the prescribed rose colored glasses that were blocking real-love in negative ways rigged to suit a reality that was never mine to begin with, only was a participant.
When you free your mind ~ it liberates your heart to be who you came to be. A beautiful child of God that is meant to be at peace not at suffering. Living a life driven by love and not fear. Choosing to learn new tools to listen further, so to decipher and defeat the noise echoing from false-self, fear, ego, and pride.
I am full of gratitude to have found the right doorways and fractal fissures to facilitate the changes. A rite earned is the right to know who you really are in the free and now. Compelling and honest work, heart wrenching ~ not everyone will want to do this kind of work, reality shifting ~ wake the heck up kind of work.
My honest and absolute thoughts around this are…what else would you be doing, and what are you doing?
Again, what are you doing? Who are you, and how do you love? What message are you giving and receiving through the constructs of how you love in your daily life? How are you hand-feeding your version of love to yourself, and those you love in your personally created everyday?
These are real questions that should be asked, and there are answers that will come, just not the right ones at first want. No, you will have to ask again, and listen further, and then come back and ask again.
A gift for all when sought in earnest surrender, for you too can be touched to life. Awakening yourself to live life in a way that is hidden deep inside of you, and for far too long.
Of course you will not like what you find at first, and will even be surprised, for I was. Had thought I was doing every thing right even though there was a knowledge deep down that something somewhere was wrong.
This is the first slight of the mind-trick mastered to breaking free from fear.
Joyously too because once creations light is found and felt in excstatic waves of truth-beauty flowing boundlessly beneath the surface of what is hidden; the war without is over. A deeper shade of shift turns its tables leaving a face forward view of whom and what was being fought all along.
Soul free is doctrine free…hope free…wondering free…self-free ecstasy. It is knowing and being what you already are at the core of your resonance, and have always been, and that is Love.
A delicacy so sublime, that once awoken we do not need anything outside of us to complete us. We are centered in truth and oneness. We become Holy. In a divine connection of spirit and breathe tethered in a long slow kiss softly breezing across the life in our matter.
A french-kiss of truth and honesty loops that keep us thirsting for more and coming back no matter what ~ overtime, every time, next time, again and again.
Love is light shinning through the dark ~ a never ending mystery of here and now.
My advice is to figure out how to not miss it.
Kellie J. Wright
Internal Narcissus at Heart
#interanlnarcissus #transformationguide #internaljourneys #heartsaresouls
“We do not have to believe everything we think. ~ Although it is the tendency to touch.”
Dear Inner Circle,
A thought came that wanted out, and then it became this:
We do not have to believe everything we think. Although it is the tendency to touch. One would assume if we think a thought it must be true, so we embrace it, we hold it, examine it, decide what its future is, and bring it to life. This is the recipe to the building of thoughts.
Dangerous works this is because so many times they are made with missing ingredients, for it takes two to have a conversation. (Insert a deep Gasp here.) This is how I felt when the revelation hit me during a pivotal point of processing in my second 90 day transformation in Latigo Canyon, Malibu, CA.
A journey that was started for work in Body that quickly became something else. The birth of moving from Mind based thinking to Heart based.
I was still green in what would become this four plus year journey, but had enough awareness to question some thoughts that were being built against my signifiant other at the time. They were so negative, so dark, and I was mortified. Swearing to never speak to him again; embattled with me, my thoughts, and I.
Let me be honest, things were not going well communication wise, but what the hell was going on in my mind was obscene.
In a flash from the heavens weighted by the heaviness of fighting the obscene, was gifted an eureka moment! Realizing: slow down, calm down, these thoughts cannot be true, this is not the person that you know. No matter how well we were or were not doing: nothing warranted this type of persecution. Right then and there instinctively knew that I could immediately reject them.
How did I know this? I just did, but how did I do it? By holding the negative thoughts up to light. Comparing them with truths known and situations we had shared with family and friends, so started de-qualifying the heavily built assumptions one by one.
This may sound weird, but we are talking about our minds here. This did not change what was wrong in the relationship, but it changed how I started to interact with it, and my fear.
Fear based thinking is tricky and slick when it comes to protecting us from what feels bad. For many good reasons at first look, too, because the mind is working with the only medium it knows which is real time. Attached to the archive of our stories with their left over energies attached; unprocessed emotions that have become arsenals to protect under the belief of heavy conflict.
Believe it or not, this is true, your mind will try to protect you from any assumed harms that you are only thinking about, or maybe trying to deny. It will enlarge and blow up pretty much anything it can to steer you away from what it has perceived as a threat in real life.
So if you start to cause yourself any feelings of pain or anxiety when you are thinking. Alerts are sounded and whoever is in front of you mentally or physically will reap the brunt of all past memories and pains collected thus far in your journey. Every happening that was never honored by processing, since birth.
This changes hearts, closes doors, shifts destinies, and can even make people disappear.
If you do not believe me, ask yourself this. Have you ever felt upset about something that you heard or saw and then instead of calling or asking the person to clarify this happening sat stewing on it, for hours, maybe days?
During this time your mind is connecting dots, having conversations in your head with the person or people. Connecting what may or may not have happened to anything else that relates to this incident from prior situations, and so on.
By the time you speak to this person in real life, if you give them the chance, you have already tried and found them guilty. Sometimes never giving them a chance to talk to you at all…they never have a chance to talk to you at all ~ or to tell you their side of reality with you hearing them.
Let us remember that nothing is ever really happening to us unless it is happening. Right now I am typing while thinking and reminding my heartbeat that drives my blood pressure that I am simply recounting a story, and none of this is really happening.
Deprograming coping mechanisms designed by a less learned, and inadequate first designer of self to defend self is empowering. Learning that we do not have to react, retaliate, or defend ourselves in any given situation is a game changer.
Every action that happens in life is neutral until we assign a value to it. Encouraging is it not that once these tools are gained, we can make logical choices of how to read situations from the heart and not react from a hot head?
This gift, this gift, yes, this GIFT is about real love and forgiveness, it is about realizing that no matter what happens that we are all humans-trying and have a choice to be where things are happening, or are not.
Embolden yourself on a quest to find self-love which provides self-worth so evident that you will never be bullied by yourself, or another again. Moving from mind based thinking to heart based thinking ~ is about learning how to grow through love and fear with people we cherish.
Creating safe places and safe words to help talk each other down when things are escalating. Life escalates….it ebbs and flows, it is hard work, it is tantalizing, but a lot of not nice things happen to good people along the way everyday…
To EVERYBODY because we are trapped in our fears until the day we are not.
Love is learning to not take things personally, and redirect conversations back to real time when lightning strikes. Always finding safe harbor after the storm, so we can laugh and love through its misunderstandings, or sometimes gracefully accept that we must let go, and grow.
Learning that we do not have to get mad when we are upset is the second lesson we assimilate when reclaiming our minds. It is the Gold that you are seeking.
Become emboldened and your heart will enliven your spirit with an ever lasting ability to shine bright in the hues of your own intentions: under any circumstance because it is free from fear and self ridicule.
Critic, William Gerald said “Embolden your will, hone your mind, and speak the truth as it speaks to you.”
Internal Narcissus agrees, and believes that we must become our own internal critic to find our way through the multiple layers of feelings that we carry around. Ones frozen in memories that are guarded by an inner-self that needs to be loved on before its acquiesce.
The secret to all of this goodness is…learning to love ourselves the whole way through, for it is the only way through.
Opening your heart to free your mind is to come alive in a touch of a dance so exquisite that time quivers at its mention. Destinies align, birthrights are claimed, and peace and clarity blossom.
Instilling a power of awakening so deep that mountains crumble to softly dismiss the parts of you that you do not need anymore ~ while wondering forward, what took you so long in the first place.
Kellie J. Wright
Voice at Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys ~ Free your mind, so you can open your heart.
Dear Inner Circle,
This may sound weird, but have to share. I awoke pretty early Saturday April 1, 2017. Happy and feeling pretty pleased with myself. Proud of the works accomplished in this 4th 90 Day Transformation. I had no idea where it would take me…although I knew where I started. It is always like that once we are surrendered and working we are open to receive, and align with all of the other help we need too. Was gliding through the house smiling deeply ~ and then these words came, so I wrote them down and guess it is now time to share:
I am pretty proud of you Kellie, you have grown up to be a pretty decent woman.
You always had a good heart, but that just was not enough.
A broken heart has no foundation, no place to call home.
Try as we might and did, we found all the places that were broken,
Then walked right into and through them to make them whole again.
Tough job kiddo!
I am proud of you.
Now we can Shine Bright Together!
Love Me & Kellie
P.S This is my truth as it came to me, and felt the need to share. When we work with our highest self, inner child, and real time self ~ the conversations are multi level and layered.
Dear Inner Cirle,
This is a personal testimony from an amazing woman, and graduate of an IN 90 Day Spiritual Transformation. I am honored to have worked with her, and feel blessed for her wonderful thank you ~ in a voice to help illuminate the time, effort, work, and results of this deeply personal process…
My 90 day IN Experience
We are all storytellers. We tell ourselves stories every day. We believe these stories so much, they become our life and identity.
Kellie and her spirit inspired book “Internal Narcissus: A spiritual Transformation” helped me hold a mirror to my life experiences and see the stories which influence my life. It is interesting because these stories are based on our comprehension of the world around us, filtered with our own kaleidoscope of understanding.
Much of this understanding is solidified before we reach adulthood. Kellie helped me realize we make life decisions with understandings forged at tender and undeveloped ages.
Kellie curated a 13-week experience to explore the intent behind these stories. She helped question the boundaries and triggers that make up my life. Kellie’s philosophy revolves around being in “real-time”, living with intention, and dealing with fear so one can speak and live ones truth. I was blessed to participate in her course last fall.
The process was insightful, yet uncomfortable at times. Self-observation is eerie. I do not like feeling vulnerable. Kellie encouraged me to regard myself as a friend and defend myself like I would others.
The logistics of the 90 days were important to me. I have a career, a husband, endless laundry and cooking, a full social calendar filled with family and friends, so I could not checkout of life and spend 90 days meditating in a cave. I “met” with Kellie over the telephone twice a week.
The first session was at the beginning of the week to review the week’s topic. The rest of the week was living with the material. I journaled, meditated, re-read the chapter in the book, generally processing the material. At the end of the week, we met for the second session to clarify and review my observations. We used Evernote to communicate with general check-ins and record thoughts/communication. It was both intense and fun.
There were layers of growth during my time with Kellie. I found I grew the most when I was not hiding behind bad habits or defenses. Kellie was able to see these patterns and call me out when my defenses started to assert themselves. Open-mindedness was imperative to this process.
During my journey, an amazing number of synchronicities occurred during this transformation period. Reoccurring themes of change, revelation, and vivid, crazy dreams furthered the process. Quotes found their way to me that confirmed that week’s topic. Friends and acquaintances would bring up topics related to the work. My meditations were transcendent. These were confirmations of a mystical nature.
I am a creative person, but I do have the imagination to create these experiences. The phrase “I can’t make this up” was used often during my sessions with Kellie. The Universe was talking and I was listening. Leonardo da Vinci was correct when he said, “Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.”
The insights during my personal journey were hard won and resonant frequently. While everyone’s journey will be different, we are all seekers of a bigger and higher truth.
With Kellie, you will learn to see the falsehoods that keep you in specific pattern of behavior. The lessons I learned have become mantras of understanding I apply to life. They are keys to further my awakening journey. I found this transformation process was about showing up and doing the work. It was about showing up to live life.
The lasting effects of this time with Kellie include an innate calmness, a sense of self, and a strong sense of ownership over my life. I am still learning and growing; I am a work in progress. I am excited for you to have your journey. We are creating our lives with these stories we tell ourselves – what is your story?
BCM; Adapted from originally published article “What a 90 day Spiritual Transformation Taught Me”, 2017 01 11
Dear Inner Circle,
I am writing this declaration to the universe and interested parties that the opportunity to start the spring 2017 thirteen week 90 Day Transformation course ends this Friday.
The next class begins October 2017, and am taking reservations. The price for October 1, 2017 course (4 seats only) are $3900.00 each. Details to follow.
There are two seats left for this quarter, for $900.00 each. I am honoring the price given as it was presented, and will grown forward. If you have ever considered taking this course with me, now is definitely the time.
I am happy to report that in week eleven of my fourth 90 day transformation in body ~ I have realized the worth of my work, and am claiming this power today, March 27, 2017.
When we start a spiritual transformation we create a personal commitment statement, and then know that God will provide everything else we ‘need’ ~ if we are open, pay attention, listen, and trust the process.
Using acquired tools thus far in my journey, intuitive spiritual gifts, signs presented, signs from nature and medicine books, Aunt, college courses at Sofia, and Enlightenment Coach, Dr. Kapil Gupta. I have woke up more profoundly, and found more truth than ever knew possible inside this last few months. You can too, if you believe you can, for we are what we believe.
This morning upon waking, started to create a mantra to guide my solar plexus work this week.
“I will love universally like the sun.
Sometime it burns sometimes is warms.”
…more will come while working the week…also, here are three stages of solar plexus.
Beings with excessive third chakra energy react to life circumstances, they have emotional outbursts and are often stressed out.
Beings with blocked or deficient third chakra are passive and inactive – allowing life to pass by while they do nothing.
Strong third chakra reflects the ability to move forward in life with confidence and power. It reflects the ability to make conscious choices to choose and to act.
Please know that these conditions change and we are works in progress. I connect so deeply with being blocked.
I was stuck, knew I had been stuck for a while, but could not see or get to the information door. It took the dedication and desire to find this information out, and to steady keep an eye on the path paying attention to all for this 4th transformation work to bring its exquisite yellow bloom. As soon as I knew, and could apply the time to process this key, woke up this morning knowing exactly what to do. Thank you, Dr. Kapil Gupta, for you lessons, and Universe for guiding and connecting this truth, so perfectly.
I am reminded of an IN quote created at the beginning of this project a few years ago, and will share.
“We can grow quickly, when we are paying attention.”
Week twelve is the last full week of deep work in this 13 week course, and having been given the keys to the kingdom, yet again, yesterday. I know exactly what to do.
A woman with an open and balanced Manipura Chakra values herself and her work, is confident in her ability to do something well, loves and accepts herself, is willing to express herself in a powerful way, knows that she has the freedom to choose to be herself and direct her own life. http://www.chakra-anatomy.com/solar-plexus-chakra.html
This week is about embracing my Manipura Chakra power. Finishing my chakra three mantra, and taking another first new step with eyes washed free of lather ~ ready to embrace the woman I have become with love and respect while staking a new canvas to create the living art that is my life.
Kellie J. Wright
Voice of Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys, Inc
*Decided to share this quote photo as it came up in my work today. It is TBT, and a big thank you to my first creative team at Internal Narcissus. I honor our dance this journey, and will never forget our friendships and sacrifices. Namaste.
Dear Inner Circle,
Are you open or closed? I wonder if you know, for it is not always an easy thing to detect. I will let you in on something…there are layers undetectable, so it is never an easy question to answer. Had thought that I was open many times before in this journey, only to find there were some secret doors that had to be blown off. Masks hidden in letters, words, and rhyme. So we can be half open and half closed, for a very long time before we find the right codes to initiate the big bloom.
Last week I was given a sign that showed me that I am closed. My heart that is, and would not have believed it was. This is why signs are important to my work, and sure enough ~ my heart chakra is closed. The sign gave me the knowledge that it was now time to open my heart back up in this equinox cycle of spring. Not taking this lightly I worked for three days to make sure to find all of the deep parental catches to process with love, deeply.
This 4th 90 day transformation has been so very good to me, for so many reasons. God always gives us what we need attached to what it is we asked. My body changes: no sugar, vegan diet, no caffeine started January 2017 are awesome. I feel amazing, but realizing that my heart was closed when I had no idea it was not ~ was the last message needed to walk this woman soul-free (or so I thought*).
What I have gleaned and tagged as the upmost importance in my journey. Is that through Growing-IN, I, ultimately, Grew-UP. A full fledged woman in complete harmony within her 47 years of being here. Not that I am perfect, no one is, and have no desire to be. I like my dark and my light in equal measures, and this equals bliss.
Just am not interested in being forever anything, but open, free from ego, and ready to live from my heart, in the now, and to assist others who wish to take this journey, if they so choose.
To know thyself is to pay careful attention to what we present ourself daily. What we present ourselves is what we are made of…it is the recipe that builds our reactions and actions that become each and every minute of our day. When I was just running around being who I had became that was different, but now having claimed myself. I stake the land daily, so to be the best version of self that I can. This work takes patience and resolve, so I say:
Present yourself as a King or Queen…treat yourself as your would your best friend. Grow up and into your body that you now realize is your only real home. Internal Narcissus believes this is called real-time, adult, state of grace living. Quantifying that we need to no longer act like little children, for the children of this world need its elders to be centered and present adults. To be their fearless leaders in a world that is dangerous and deceptive. Children should not have to worry about their parents. We must wake up to provide everything they need to grow up and prosper, and at the same time leaving them an Earth better than we found it.
Please know there is a difference from being childlike and acting like a child. Painfully I know this all to well, and it took all four years of this work to earn the vision and gift to see its totality. Having never grown up or had responsibilities that force one to at least half grow up: I was sadly lagging in this area. No matter now, we learn forgiveness for self, and others ‘like there is no tomorrow” on this path.
I raise a call to action to all reading this blog, it is time to wake up and leave the world of innocent and the beauty of youth, for those who are happily, painfully, and exquisitely in its throes. The rest I ask you to wake up and take your place to provide and protect this world together.
Everyday that we resist the call to Grow-IN we deny ourselves the chance to catch up to our body and self in real time. We loose the chance to Grow-UP and shake the disease that is keeping us blocked in fear and living behind walls mortared with ego, fear, and pride.
Questions: What do you present yourself each day? What are your working on to leave your mark? What were you born to do, but cannot until you free your mind from ego by going inside to meet self, first?
Ego will bar people from their dreams. No matter how good we are at the game ~ because in truth there is no game. Action is needed compliancy is stillborn, so what will we have to be presented to wake-up? I lived this waking up process for 4 years, so I know how hard it is to do the presenting, but what would you give to stake your mental constitution in a way you have never perceived before, for you, for your family, and the greater good of all?
Let me know, for I am more than ready to start this conversation.
Kellie J. Wright
Voice of Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys, Inc.
* P.S. In meditation this morning found that my solar plexus chakra is closed, too. This makes perfect sense, for if I cannot be open in this aspect then I do not have 100% faith in myself. I worked desperately to find my truth in my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd 90 day transformations.
The 1st inner child work and relationship work opened my heart, but it closed back up. Which lead to my 2nd 90 day transformation: centered around moving from mind based thinking to heart based. My third was a paralyzer of twin flame mirror work. All from someone who had never worked with chakras before, or knew what a twin flame was. I did my best, and always tried harder at every fall, and have grown amazingly.
Now in my 4th 90 day transformation it is clear that working to keep all chakras open and flowing is going to be the focus of my daily practices from now on. This is decided, for I will not lose staked ground.
Trust me that when you do start your transformation work, you will wonder what took you so long. I am ever amazed. Assuring you that once started the commitment to find and free your inner truth will give rewards past your expectation’s.
Thinking on my new finds this morning opens a whole new sense of Aha! Of course I have to go back in to open solar plexus. Vividly, and solidly with a claimed inner truth that is new and profound and something I could have never found until now. I will share my work in week 12 check-in! Shine Bright Beauties! Your all you got!
The third chakra is the center of willpower. While the Sacral chakra seeks pleasure and enjoyment, the third chakra is all about the perception of who you are.
OMGoodness ~ I love this work! http://www.chakra-anatomy.com/solar-plexus-chakra.html
Dear Inner Circle,
Chapter Seven, The Self, A Beginner’s Guide to Jungian Psychology is my Shangri-La. I assimilated all of my knowledge from collective conscious and divine interverntion. So reading this book, last quarter, is an exclamation point on my last four years transformational work. I laugh and settle in with a glow that a parent gives a child when they know they have learned something on their own, but that nothing is new.
After many nights of dark shadows in my fourth transformation over the last few months; where I was feeling blocked, stunted, and in a creative funk. This chapter provides the passageway to a place to find comfort and likeness with those who have come before. Where I can make sense of my ups and downs. This is why my heart illuminated two nights ago; breaking free in a peace of mind so close to total comfort that I have not been able to access for any stayed length of time in a while. Alas, this is the journey at this level of work. We truly are all one, and once this path is started there is no desire (for very long) to not continue. It is a oneway ticket to bliss, and one that feels more comfortable on than not.
Inner soul, child, mental work ~ is the best gift in life. Albeit it is dark, tight, and confining at times. It on the other side is the most bright, beautiful, and defining place of love. Learning to love yourself the whole way through and accept your dark and your light is everything. For once we know who we are, we make peace with who we became, we learn to let go of held pain and fear. Insisting that we are fine and feel more comfortable in our wholeness. Ultimately creating less highs and lows in a balance of stability.
After my 3rd 90 day transformation my then boyfriend and I pulled off saving our relationship through twin flame madness. Only to fail and cause each other so much more pain. My heart went to Arkansas with friends to work there and to lick my wounds. It really was the starting stages of the sacred healing part of my journey. Learning to let myself feel and grow through all of the rage, pain, and whatever came up with no shame or judgement. Not letting myself bypass the process, and it became a disheveling of the self through the ages. Freeing stored up energies from my youth forward.
Looking at the three stages of Individuation as I now know them. I see that with knowledge buried deep inside, and the desire to heal on my own through the transformation’s I followed Jung’s path. Eerily too, Internal Narcissus, wow, it still blows my mind. The connection to this book, and chapter seven right now is felt deep in my chest. In the tree of me where I have ripened to its knowledge. Earning another sacred tool to mange and keep my inner alignments in sink with the now.
I am where I should be. In a long line of others that have come before. Trudging and sailing through the inner realms of shadow and light. A life long seeker in an ever expanding universe. One that is still in full expansion. Ever moving, evolving, and so shall and will I, too.
There is no way to sum up the Self, nor to adequately describe all the challenges life presents once one has developed a conscious relationship with the Self. Though through the three separate stages of Shadow, Anima/Animus, and Self, there is only one continuous process – The relationship between consciousness and the Self. ~ Robin Robertson
Your pain does not make up who you are. It does trap you from being who you never become. ~ Kellie J. Wright
Someone close to me said they do not want to do a 90 Day Transformation because they felt all of the pain, rage, fear, and suffering in their life has made them who they are, and some of those things are very fine. Ah, the edge to an edge, I get it.
Ego’s pain, fear, rage, and anxiety does shape and color our personality and thoughts. Making this feeling a very real illusion, and one mixed in equal parts of you. I agree that this is an honest and sincere fear that needs exploring. This is also work that we do in a transformation, so have been here many times before.
There is no doubt that I spent much of my life with regret, envy, and pain. I did not know this when I started, but will honor and pay homage to things that once kept me down. The want’s and could not have’s all piled up in my life locker always stalking and blocking me from the beauty of God and love. What I had put behind that door was heavy. Misunderstandings by a child of divorce heaped upon self blame and not good enough had my little girl convinced that her heart would literally break in two, if and when she should ever confront the loss attached the the assumed pains.
Fortunately one day I had enough ~ at the end of another failed relationship, and in deep contemplation saw I was the only constant in my life and knew there was much more work to be done. A lot more than what I had always done. Luckily I was ready…blessings came! A full pardon in another veil dropped, my eyes opened up for a second time.
The real work began and my life started in earnest. I learned that all the bad things happening off and on in my life was the fear unprocessed kept trapped inside of me from that still little broken child. Everything was fine when I felt in control, but if lighting struck, it was a mini madness session. This kept happening no matter how hard I tried for it not too, or how successful I became. She would come out to wreck havoc when my fear of rejection or abandonment was triggered. It was clockwork. Same patterns, same conditions, same outcomes.
I honestly believe that a 90 day transformation saved my life. It is the fastest and most sincere way to heal inner child, and this is all about liberating the child from the mind. To connect to our real time self in current status. Please do not get me wrong on the outside my life looked fine, managed, and only those close to me knew my intimate suffering. It is so odd to look back and know that it was orchestrated all to protect me from further harm.
So thankful to have woken up from the slumber that kept me trapped. I learned a lot about perception and denial in the last four years of inner child work. Most importantly though…I learned to forgive myself for what I did not know then, to release and let go of persons, places, or things trapped in my mind.
No longer a child anymore, waiting for Daddy to come back and get me, or Mother to open up and share. I had to learn how to self soothe from the center of my soul. Nothing outside of me. Self-worth resides on the inside, and it cannot be given or bought. We have to believe so much in our self-worth that it is an all day, everyday, no matter what the bank account, or title on the car reflects natural occurrence.
Love and Life are a Circle of Bliss, and yes we will change when we let go of our story, but it will be the release of a thousands wingless nights that bound us to our thoughts. In a transformation that lifts and shifts us into a beautiful butterfly. With wings free to soar loosened from the heaviness of our deepest affliction’s.
Kellie J. Wright
Voice of Internal Narcissus
Internal Journeys, Inc.
P.S. If you are reading this…and there is something you would like to transform in your life. Please tell me what it is, so then we can start a conversation in real. I have three more spots left for the spring 2017 course. Another course is starting October 2017.
Please know that I only work with four clients at a time because this is private, personal, and deep processing work. Learning to love yourself, so you can love others is journey. It is a quest for knowledge, and how we learn to grow. I sacredly honor each journey as if it were my own.