Would You

Oct 14, 2017

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Dear Inner Circle,

Oh my goodness it is going to be a revolution of the soul kind. I feel it coming, and I am ready. In the car was asked if I would be sober to save the world, the answer was of course, yes. I am mean, I am already, mostly, anyway…so…

Yes! Yes! This is my truth and this is “the what” was coming ~ I felt it all week. Tuesday knew that my throat chakra is balanced through the Yin Yoga mediation. Heard “love is not fear” and remembered a quote given me right before my first 90 day transformation years ago “Angels don’t need alcohol, they need God”. This all went through me, felt it through my entire body…words, words, my truth the real story, no, leading or following. I know the way.

Then a download..

No man is an island. Be not alone in my trajectory, minding my barriers and tending thy bridges. No, I am here to be a force of nature and guide others that they too can attain what they want by choosing to change what they believe about themselves. I believe we are what we believe so choose well. Believed my whole life that I am not an alcoholic, and that the second part of my life would be the best part of my life toxin free. This is what set my mental constitution.

Internal Narcissus was started so to find true love by becoming balanced in mind, body, and soul. And when uttered the words that I never wanted to drink again after committing to do a 90 day transformation (that I had not even started yet) to publish my blogs that walked my mind out of darkness. Was given what is called a white light experience. Then was told to treat myself as an alcoholic, and to find fellowship if I never wanted to drink again. That fellowship turned out to be different than my code; and not in line with what I wanted for a lifestyle. Although it did bring me many new friends that I still hold dear. It just was not in agreement with the who I came to be…

and that is, shameless.

So, after much searching, trying, and growing was given in a dream ten months later that “If I live in the now that I have already won.” This truly is the concept behind we are what we believe, and with renewed vigor and heart kept to my own way of processing this spirit led journey. With not one desire to touch alcohol for a year and a half. That is until a very hard third transformation which at the end rewarded myself with the gift to enjoy a drink socially when wanted.

All was well until my shine bright was affected deeply after many a dark months and deep works, and being triggered from a personal relationship. It sparked some miles still to go inside, so with eyes keenly on the why’s and slopes eagerly dove in to traverse and dance out the dark. Making it through once again. All because of trusting my heart, path, personal process, and spirit led signs which at this point in the journey are processed with open arms to understand and pure love.

Being a mentalist, seer, dream worker, intuitive, vegan, yogi that is dedicated to a masters path of enlightenment may have helped a little too.

Grateful, for my white light experience in 2014, and what I will call my pink light experience in my now (because I saw and felt pink light all around me). For it has been heavy on my heart to purge my story to find my ground, to stake my stance. This blog is loose leaf, of course there is so much living and growing in-between the last 4.9 years, but believe it is perfect. Do not tell war stories, for have no shame, and do not believe I am anything, but I am, and that is all.

I love my life and have never judged it, nor others, and never will. Believing we are all humans trying. At IN we are learning to balance love and fear, so we can be who we came to be. Which I believe is soul free.

This fifth transformation has reconnected deep faith in so many things, there have been more connections that I could share, and am closer to what is real than what is not. Being 100% present in now is trusting self more than anything or anyone else, too, and no matter what it looks like on the outside. For your number one relationship and walk is with creator.

So the question…”Would you be sober to save the world?” or “Would you recover your heart to be free in your now?”

OK…stay with me…what if everyone had this directive, or chose to take it? This really would/could save the world. WE ARE ALL ONE ~ right? We + world = humanity and what if being sober is how it happens? What if freeing the heart is how we liberate the soul?

Internal Narcissus believes hearts are souls, so what if we limit fear to liberate love. Are you following along?

Not what would you have the world be, or others do? How far would “you” go to facilitate a change to affect universal consciousness? How far could you go to free you heart from whatever ails it? As a dear friend of mine once said “We are all recovering from something.”

These downloads and these questions all came from a deep week of throat chakra works, and I know this is a late check-in but oh man, and oh woman ~ it had been that kind of week, and more is to be revealed.

Also, I come in peace, keep what resonates and leave the rest for others. I will say that recovering from yourself is the greatest gift of all. Nothing happens in your life without you, and your are the light in the dark calling you home.

My advice: Get there.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Journeys Voice at Internal Narcissus

PS ~ Dare to be life, dare to be you, dare to be love. How ever that looks and feels like to you, find it, for that is who you came to be. Remembering that there is no greater joy of a human heart than to give and receive love freely.

Four Heart

Oct 3, 2017

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Dear Inner Circle,

At week five in my fifth 90 day transformation I was given two signs. 1.) Pull back from social media. 2.) Not give precious energies away that which are not returned same. Basically to take myself away from draws that were taking me away from real time truths; depleting precious hours and taking too much of my day away. Leading to a week of perfect examination of my current life and its goals while in the middle of working on Chakra Four Heart.

About a month ago my cousin started giving me her extra magazine copies of Psychology Today. A piece of evidence collected in the October issue a few weeks ago was used to cultivate parts of the experience, for this last week and half’s occurrences. It is called The Four Burner Theory, and was mentioned in brief during the editor’s note, so attached what it gave to what resonated from inside of me. Plus I came across a special connection in The Wheels of Life from my Chakra Studies. Here is how it works and what I came up with:

Part I. The Four Burner Theory is a quadrant theory centered around:

1. Work; 2. Health; 3. Family; and 4. Friends.

To be successful you must turn off one burner, and to be really successful you must extinguish two.

Part II. Working on the Heart Chakra in my Yin Yoga Mediation Series came across a sentence mentioning blocks related to giving energies that are not met and, or, reciprocated.

Bingo! The stars started to align, so decided to give both theories a try.

To my delight agreed that my Work and Health are one large burner. Being that my life’s work is learning to balance love and fear, so to have optimum mental and physical health. Family and Friends became a second big burner because my family are my friends, and my closest friends are my family. I do not have a large social life that has to be managed. This gave me permission to turn off two small burners.

My recipe for me needed some reductions.

Subtracted ingredients:

Distracting apps on my phone. Including Facebook, Instagram, Mailchimp, News, and Gmail. Decided that these applications should be monitored and checked according. In my world this means a few times a day, and done with specific intention to connect to the adventure not just keep checking all day because my iPhone is recklessly at my side all of the time.

Recklessly because that is what its feels like when something steels your time and attention at random because it is just there, and is honestly giving you nothing in return.

Added ingredients: More time spent in reflection for and with clients, more time to feel the deep inner work sought in current transformation, freed space in my brain to focus and be with nature and my family. More clarity to focus on creating. Yes.

Creating the moments that actually create my life, and that by aligning and balancing love and fear to manifest through participating in the life ~ that which I seek; not the moments circling around as if near, but truly not, because of being stuck in between of the half-awake and half-asleep dream.

No, in this new recipe, many things burning were switched off, and there was no need to extinguish anything, for that work is realized. From slow and steady commitments to change behaviors over the last four plus years in transformation works. ~ Allowing enough room for me to finally connect to the personal heartbeat and most sacred energy, Anahata.

Glowing are the sweetest choices, slowly baking, in the rise of unity in my life that is now…

..such as breath work through the mind body connection of hot yoga, and the forward seeking to become an adept in Chakras mysteries. Co-creating the first Internal Journeys Trekking Retreat in Nepal for October of 2018, diving back into my personal brand of water work meditation dreamwork, creating the new podcast Conscious Speaks, and most importantly building and creating beautiful client relationships in our Internal Narcissus Self Love Community.

Admittedly making changes in real time that need to stick are hard to implement, for we are retiring old ways of thinking and perceiving, and rebooting the matter of our physical bodies. But we can change, if we want to, and the only thing these changes are dependent on is us. I know, for have done the work.

Believing that if we revisit again and again with more strength, love, and willpower that we can tear down old connections and replace them with new. Each time that we try we are stepping forward to rewrite the recipes that make up the mental diets of how we operate in our world.

Eventually free to harvest internal love that implements new solo harmonics that change our biochemical frequencies and attract different aspects to our lives. However radical or slight these revisions are at first, they will fan the flames of our goals and dreams instead of our fears, avoidances, and distractions.

…In the dark there was but one sound ~
the sound of life, the sound of love, the sound of the heart.
Beating…Beating…Beating…Beating…

Hear it now in your own heart. Its rhythms pumping life and air and breath through every part of you, renewing you;
Bathing you in air, in space, in breath, in life.
Feel it now at the core of you, embrace it with your hands.
Feel it yearning, crying, loving, hoping, healing.
Feel it within you, old as you are, beating since the days from deep in the
womb, feel how long it’s been there…

(Heart Chakra Four: Love, The Wheels of Life, pg 188)

“Feel how long it’s been there” ~ oh how I felt this unstruck part of me.

Internal Narcissus believes hearts are souls, and that we matter. That we create our every moment with the thoughts that what we think, believe, and give our energies too. That once we are balanced in love and fear we can find inner peace.

My advice: take time this week to find your first heartbeat, and give thanks for the gift that is you. Decide to use your life to create all that you desire by loving every ounce of you. Do that by breathing in deeper, exhaling out softer, turning off some burners, and maybe extinguishing a few. Do anything, do something to make you feel the you that is burning in your Anahata.

Sigh lovingly, smile contentedly, and all as if knowing that we are the gift that is our own heart beating, beating, beating. Deeply inside of us, singing to us from a place we barley remember, and know all to well for it is called love, and is the unstruck place we come from.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Journeys and Internal Narcissus

Feedback

Sep 30, 2017

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Dear Inner Circle,

Internal Narcissus Blog is 4.7 years here this month, and we would like to hear some feedback, answer questions, or know some of your thoughts, for ideas of what you would like to see happen next at IN! Our intention is to keep growing this self love community one day at a time, and your input is important and valued!

Also, graduation of three 90 day transformations are close, so will look forward to sharing the testimonies. In addition to that a three time graduate will share their first testimony documenting all three transformation’s.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

P.S. IN’s first all women’s trekking adventure is October 2018 in Nepal. Details out very soon!

The Art of Your Life
By Kellie J. Wright

The art of your life is learning how to reopen yourself once you have closed up again. Knowing that as a flower closes each night and opens again each morning ~ that you too, have this same power to embrace the light of a brand new day. Light, the food and secret elixir of a souls delight. Once we learn how to binge on this goodness concealed in our hearts instruments, and grace of each new mornings dew and first draw of awakened intentions ~ we will have learned what it is to be soul free, for hearts are souls.

“Hearts are beautiful souls ~ open yours to come alive.”

A heart that is kept from loving and being open is starved from its essential master plan of existence here on Earth. To love each other, to love ourselves, and to love, God. It is the path of inner peace that we can walk freely upon once we have learned forgiveness.

Relaxing into a ride that we bought a ticket for to an invested and intended journey of exploration. So, please forgive anyone who barred the way to you and your dreams that are all a part of our birthright. This includes you, for if we cannot forgive then we lock ourselves underneath layers of misery that will keep us from the truth in the heart of everything, and there is only one truth; that we are here to be love.

I know as a nation, as a country, as a people that we can rise above the fear and pain that has been inflicted on our mortal hearts. Freeing our souls to open up to the beauty of love that we all come from; our creator, and whom we are a part of and will return to one day.

It is written throughout history that we need only seek, we need only call his name, and this call shall not go unanswered.

One thought at a time we can change the way we feel about ourselves. This is an inside job, though, and has one rule. Each individual human being must save their own heart to free their soul, we cannot export the job, nor do it for anyone else. The caves of our heart must be entered alone.

There is so much to gain, and what do we have to lose by taking a chance to quest further inside to find the truth and the knowledge buried like a time capsule inside of us that will free our minds? Nay, I say a lot, and this is why we must learn to see that there is only one designer brand.

“The heart has only one designer label “LOVE”.

I cannot give you any self-wisdom because each of us is designed differently. It is our gift at birth. A body blessed with a soul. Gifted with this knowledge buried within each of us, so we do not “need” anyone else to set our wings a flight or to breathe the air beneath our wings to set sail. There are some of us that were built to assist in these matters though…

Listen close, for this wisdom resides in the front of your throat and underneath the lungs in your chest. Pure magic called spirit. Holy ~ the white light of love that resides inside of the place that we all come from. A kiss at birth from Creator that needs fresh air from here to lift our bodies rhythmic internal cosmic connection to bridge a life on planet Earth.

We need motion. Yes, we are bodies in motion and we must use these bodies. They are breathing apparatuses for our souls to come down and participate with each other for a while when we create a life worth living and sharing with others here on Mother Earth.

A grand facilitation, so that we can see, touch, feel, live, love, cry, stretch, grow, fall, and ahhhh at everything as we all go round.

Believing that life is not an accident and that the travesties that happen are not accidents either. Even that the joys experienced are not accidents rather lessons chosen to be experience and learned. A master plan, that we come to be in the body that we are in on purpose to experience these lessons, chose our parents, and that our parents chose theirs too.

All so to come and be the lesson I am, that we are, all here to be. Be easier and kinder to one another, be-gin not to judge one another, while respecting individual journeys being danced away, to, and toward one another.

Mostly be-ing a “soul-oriented” human who finds strength in weaknesses and weakness in strengths. Both are chinks in our personal armors meant to guide us to learn and grow through different layers of vision, perception, and understanding while participating in real time up close and personal with each other.

That once we can accept that our lives are predestined from the choices that we made with creator, as we accepted them before we came to be them, that then we can immediately be in real time.

Connected is the common thread. That we are alive on Mother Earth to learn how to love her, father, ourselves, each other, and everything about our lives no matter what they look like on the outside or feel like on the inside.

With no stigmas: including where we are monetarily, financially, spiritually, or even when our bodies are broken, bruised, or have been changed in mid-stay, and or how we were delivered. That these are only costumes and disguises we don in the shape of earthly lessons for guided trips of destiny.

I believe that it is important that we do what we came here to do, and that is to learn in these bodies, in the people that we are here being in this present moment in time.

Let me qualify that we choose every second who we are and how we react…we exist in the middle of the bodies that hold us here, and that we can change the way we feel about ourselves and our lives at any moment.

That is once we give ourselves permission to love ourselves first and foremost exactly as we are making the most of each moment. Creating our real time life is participating in the greatest creation of all ~ the masterpiece of self, and knowing of others.

Accepting that each person is uniquely beautiful while here on their soul journey, doing their own thing, and is exactly where they are supposed to be. No shame just doing the work, no judgment, just living, just doing this thing called life the best that we can.

Doing our part by keeping the machine running; the machine of humanity moving forward. The planet is a global gondola of life that is a living breathing entity ~ all moving parts are needed. Never discounting the fact that we are happening, and this is Creator’s world, not ours. This is his dream and we are participants.

I will admit that I do not know the whole reason why, but trying to understand and do better at this gift of art that is life, and that each of us are living is wonder enough to keep me questing.

Keep diving deeper, trying to meditate longer, and learn to develop the skills to listen further then maybe earn the right to hear and share those answers someday, but until then accepting and loving self are the best way to participate in this show.

A golden ticket to the most beautiful exhibit imagined. I will not overthink it, for we do not have to have all the answers to be faithful, and therefore to love. It is my belief that if we heal our human minds to free our hearts that all of the great misnomers become sweet daily rituals. My number one weapon is that I do not care what it looks like on the outside. I wear my faith and brand of love inside out.

Convinced that once we can train our minds to notice perception is a foe and that thoughts are tricky places ~ then we can go the distance daily; the distance of goodness. The beauty of this is that we all come from the same place with one designer, God.

This is why clothes do not make the man per se, and that true beauty resonates from within; once we connect in real time with creator knowing that we are one and are never alone. That we have nothing to fear and that love is the only way through. That we are designed from pure love and this brand is sewn into our internal and cosmic DNA from birth. One life to another becoming stronger and more beautiful as generations expand forward together.

God’s plan is so much bigger than any of us, and why is a question we can all ponder forever, or, we can do our very best every day to be present and mindful of our art. Commit to be the best person we can be while here on planet earth while making very good and interesting art.

Walking a life with passion and love that creates wonderful art. Caring for one another as each day is gifted to us budding artists. Knowing that if we spent the same amount of time lifting each other up as we do trying to conquer, divide, and protect ourselves from each other, both mentally and planetary, that life and the world could at once start shining brighter…

Becoming the most amazing art.

John Lennon said it the best “Imagine all the people living life in peace.” I believe we can all exist inside a world of peace, if, we create it, but it starts within each one of us. We all need to know our art is beautiful wherever it is, for what it is, and how it is. Remembering that we cannot change other people’s art, only our own.

Singularly one thought at a time by choosing love over fear, and doing the next right thing. Growing through each painful lesson thus affecting others by being the art we want to see in the world outside and within.

“May Your Love on The Inside Always Match Your Love Within”

To be balanced in love and fear is to find love from within. To find our perfect key to life is giving neither love, nor, fear more attention. Instead just the perfect amount of homage to both the Yin and Yang.

Causing our authentic self to bubble forth with a life altering potion of Love-ness. Yes, I said love-ness, for fun. Insisting we need to paint new words to play with life. Have fun with our dictionaries of self and directions.

This silliness is needed to snap around false mirrors, so we can remember that although self-work is hard work that is can also be fun work. It is a treat to find knowledge that allows us to be who we came to be in real time.

This is ~ soul free.

Soul-free manifests once we believe in our truth and accept that we only exist in the now. Having a choice in that we do not have to accept any thought as negative or positive. In this we do not have to accept others opinions of us as truths, or untruths, and that we can decline our own thoughts as well.

Learning to speak our truth by finding all of the untruths that are no longer needed, or were once given and then assumed. Clearing agreements that were never ours to begin with is called liberation. Empowering is the disarming of an arsenal of weapons acquired through time to protect the self that are only blocking our connection to self, others, and humanity.

Brilliantly, we have the power to deprogram our fear and its qualifying language, too.

Instantly realizing that to be impeccable with our word means having NONE. No thoughts, no thinking, just being. This truth means honoring all beauty and all life, not just what we choose or whom we choose to have in our life, for a moment or moments, but to honor all life as our own always.

Learning to love another means we have learned to accept, honor, trust, and love ourselves. Exacting a quality of allowing others to change their mind with no attachment. Living a life of doing unto others as we would do unto ourselves. Facilitated by manifesting a daily prayer to love and accept ourselves for who we are in each very minute.

“Be your one ~ then and only can you love another.”

Do your inner soul work: make a deep and longing declaration to yourself to free your life from anything that is holding you back from the light that you know and believe is your truth.

Question all you believe, dive deeper, disrobe mentally. Step into the light. Step into your dark. You do not have to, but happiness is where we find strength. So…where are you looking, for your happiness?

What do you feed your vulnerabilities? Which dictionary do you grab to create your mental diet? What pallet are you using the paint the right thoughts and gain the results in life that you desire?

I dare you to climb over the top of your assumptions to look at the patterns of your circumference then promise to resist the urge to circle. To listen to the backdrop of your mind, look for variances in your voice, your heart, your wallet, your food, your outlets, your inlets, your words…yes ~ listen to your words to disdain what distant corners that may be calling to you.

Is there someone inside of you just begging to be heard, a part of you pressing its nose against the glass held mute behind your eyes? If so, please stop to center yourself then ask this one amazing question, and mean it.

“Am I the one holding me back?”

Then wait, and quietly ask again, and again, each time a little softer than the last. Do you feel something there, something a little bit deeper than: your menu, your wallet, your choice of television shows, repetitive music, or anything else that is holding you captive?

Do you feel something that is asking you to breach out of your reality?

Do you feel it? Maybe you can, or cannot make it out, but do you know it? Maybe you are afraid to speak the words to anyone because your fear is that you will actually break apart. If so, do not be scared, for you are not alone. We all find our way to this moment, and then many times afterwards in several rounds of deep inner soul work as we set sail round the bends and illusions of self.

The wonderful news is that we make it through the dark night of the soul. People make life altering changes that birth whole generations again and again: sages, poets, philosophers, scientists, professors, and humanists. Inspiring creatives that give their lives to work, inspire, and assist others to become the living art of their lives.

For we are meant to open then close, and then open again. Each time more succulent and breathtakingly stronger than the last; souls are free range bloomers in this garden of life.

Reaching out everyday to take that first next step. Daring to see what you already know by believing there is something that you do not, yet. There are many awake to guide, so find someone you connect with, and start to clear fear, ego, and pride.

It is baby steps, it is truth, it is ugly, and it is freeing. Hands up! It is the best gift you will ever give to yourself, and, ever receive. The gift of loving and accepting you, for the art you came to be is priceless.

Just like learning to love ourselves…we must choose to love ourselves the whole way through and back, the good and the bad, so that we can truly love others. Love our art. Love our life. It is a circle. It is who we are. We are the living art of this world that makes our lives and keep us questing and coming back and forth to the goodness that is all.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

The Art of Your Life Part III of III in The Create Series.

“You can have no dominion greater or less than that over yourself.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

My advice: find this out for yourself before it is too late.

PS There is enough time to start a 90 day transformation today and realize it before the New Year!

Dear Inner Circle,

Part II of III in the Create Series

As We Create…

We create learning to: fly, write, fish, mountaineer, garden, a new language, tantra, style, grace, peace, yoga, painting, running, laughing, farming, playing, rising, volunteering, mentoring, trekking, teaching, loving, healing, praying, singing, or sitting.

Yes, we even learn how to be still, to relax, and most importantly…

We design, we do not trend.

Fortunately these freedoms are a breath away, or two, or three…it took me a while to find all of mine, but they happened. Life will give us back anything we give her, for she is our most prominent mirror of art.

Life wants us, and we need her, and we are here to love and be loved.

Life and love are hungry, aren’t you?

I know that I am, so…

am going to feed them clarity designed in oneness. Cook up some new ways to deliver hand written messages to them, try to get their attention with new ingredients, words, and textures to make this life into the grandest win-win creation of all.

Oh, but, I left out one thing.

Sorry, for it is a pretty big “one thing” “we have to learn to become vulnerable”. Yeah, I said it, vulnerable. The “V” word.

I know it is hard, and am sure that I will fall down trying to do this for the first time, ever, someday, again, but am willing to go all in for love, for true love is why this grow-in journey began over four years ago.

To be love is why we are alive.

So learning to be vulnerable and to surrender are paramount.

Finally learning to let go of pride, so to not be on guard and open to receive defies anything that I was ever taught in life (so as tears well up in my eyes). I will admit that, yes, it felt damn good to beat my fear and learn in surrender to let go, and let God.

Giving up having to be right, and not because I wanted to be right, but because there was something inside of me that would not let me be, still thrills me.

Letting myself look foolish by trying to speak my truths, for the first times, was frightening, but have never looked back. Gladly too, for I will be a fool for the granted passages to self love and mental freedoms gained that are unimaginable.

Grateful (soft sigh).

Viva la Heart, for it is a dangerous life for one that wants to be open, and is blocked by a mind that will not forget the pain that once was, or fear holding us back from trying something new.

If someone asked me how I got to where I am today, would have to say a very long, long, and winding road. One that was steadily unfolding and growing forward while loving myself the whole way.

Knew where I was heading my whole life, so even though some of the slopes were slippery, was sure of where I was, and heading. There is not one person who can convince me it was not exactly as it was suppose to be, because it was, and, no one could have ever have told me how good it feels to be here now too (so no take backs).

Internal Narcissus believes that our greatest potentials are always in front of us once we free our minds. Also, that we cannot know this until we know this, so be easy on yourself while you are unfolding into each new moment as it is created.

Learning how to be present and participate in healthy ways both mentally and physically have been the carrot at the center of my horizon this whole life.

What is your carrot and where is it leading you?

Believing that at every degree in life we are presented stepping stones in a two fold path. One for greater lessons learned than assumed shames, and the other a circling while staying close to the knowns.

That is until we glow through a 22K gold light shinning brightly from the inside of our darkest mirrors. The illusive non ego self shamelessly calling us home. Blinding because they are our toughest professors providing lessons that draw us into the keep.

Keeping time with life can be precarious, to say the least, but if we approach these sacred teachers (fears) that hold all of the informations needed to untangle the past that propels us forward into the gloriousness that we are…we will then truly know how to create…

Love,

Kellie J. Wright
Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

PS Part III of III The Art of Your Life will post soon.

We Create I of II

Sep 18, 2017

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Dear Inner Circle,

We create who we are everyday in the choices we make and the placement we choose. Our outer worlds reflections of our inner worlds, and why we must work to free negative thinking that can keep us stuck circling in outdated patterns of thought: sadness, pride, fear, lust, greed, vanity, and judgement against ourselves and others that are, only, in the end, mirrors needing adjustments that lead to deep internal growth of the soul kind.

Rivers of thoughts that can run amuck sometimes. But the soul knows better, and through grace we can create and navigate these pathways leading to deep inner peace.

Bliss that we manufacture, administer handsfree, and is 100% organic. It is in how we change our day to day that we can balance our darkest fears with love to feed our hearts to shine this bright.

Hand picking our words that create our moods and paints our actions and reactions to everything are personal decisions.

We create, we let go, we surrender, we thrive, we find a way to process our insides. Inside thoughts, inside actions, inside reactions, inside procrastinations, and inside unknowns to anyone, accept us.

Once upon a time we told ourselves a story, and it became a theme to help us understand things we could not understand and did not have a voice to ask for help understanding. This theme then became a part of our character developement overseeing all choices and eventually becoming an ungrounded internal set of sacred codes, rules, and values.

Believe me there is some vintage artwork in there, so, it is no wonder that we keep making circling decisions in areas that have become patterns of our lives. And cannot let go of some old stinking thinking. It is not because we want to stay caught, but because we do not know where to look, so we cannot free ourselves from the outdated images.

Oh, but when we do, it is something we can actually feel, it feels amazing, and once we be this truth ~ there is no one who can take it from us because we will not let them. No way, by this time in life we are done giving ourselves away in hope…”we become a keeper” to ourself.

Light, life, and love shine from the inside out. They are manifested from the true love that we come from, that we are, and can never be tainted, for it is at our soul level.

At IN we call this radiance, and our radiance is our personal song of life. It calls to our inner warriors, and, or goddesses most inherently good intentions. Enlisting our highest and purest vibrations to meet in a signature cry to The Universe of “Here I am, come and get me”…

…but there is more…part II will post very soon.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright
Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

This Work

Sep 9, 2017

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Dear Inner Circle,

Last month a client graduated from her first IN 90 Day Transformation. We took more than 90 days because we let the process take us were it led and we needed to be, as only it can, so we followed the path for about an extra month.

We work hard, and with very special and deep layers of awakening to self love, so I will never let go of your hand until you meet your commitment for your journey.

This commitment was to learn self love, so to not keep making the same choices in romantic relationships.

Of course this all starts within, and I know this journey well, for it is a personal one that I too have walked and now use the same processes when guiding.

Tears spilled as her transformation was realized, for her openness to find and process the amazing works that led to her truths that had been blocked by fear, judgement, and self doubt.

Life is so good, and we all have the right to live a life worth having and sharing with others, and it really does all start with your relationship with you.

Internal Narcissus believes it is our duty to use our inner abilities and wisdoms to find the places in our lives that have become catches that keeps us circling in the same patterns year after year.

That with love and care we can gratefully find and take down those old walls and belief systems to rebuild anew. I know this because I am this now, and one day when you start your journey, you can know and be this, too.

Only you have the keys, but having a guide is what brings focus to the process creating the energies for new ways of looking through your glass.

I am ready are you?

Love,

Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

Kellie J. Wright is the Voice and Author at Internal Narcissus, and Host at Internal Narcissus Radio|Conscious Speaks. She guides 90 Day Spiritual Transformation’s at Internal Journeys. Kellie is on a journey of self discovery to heal mind, body, and spirit while walking a master’s path of enlightenment. Internal Narcissus is about learning to love ourselves, so we can truly love others. It is a circle.

P.S. Self Love is Self-Actualization: noun, Psychology. 1. the achievement of one’s full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity, and a grasp of the real world.

Just Let Go

Sep 7, 2017

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“We have to let go to move forward.” ~ Kellie J. Wright

Dear Inner Circle,

“Just let go”…it is what I heard whispering to me as I sat comfortably underneath the warm water drops hitting my body. Arms wrapped happily around my legs with forehead on knees in my favorite spot.

I feel connected in water, and when moving, or resting, but never sitting still.

“Stop moving”…is what I heard months ago in the exact same place. While meditating in water. Immediately was confused, for I was not sure if it was stop moving literally because I move a lot, or if it meant fidgeting.

I am always stretching, moving, adjusting my bones, cracking them, so much it feels like I am trying to stretch out of my body. Like I do not fit in it, or something. ~ At least that is the conclusion I came to one day (LOL).

This is why one of the main focuses in my 5th 90 day transformation is dedicated to focused meditation. It is me trying to break out of my norms. Making myself do things differently, so to defuse a pattern. Trying a different way of viewing or observing my ways both inside and out by creating a new practice, for a different way of being.

I know my personal ways of reaching in and reaching out. I am a dream worker and a water worker, and this is my signature way, so will not give them up. They brought me here. Four transformations later, and a better woman that I could have ever dreamed. Yet, it is time to break out of the old to try to know something new.

Looking at other peoples ideas and suggestions, taking what resonates, and putting forth the effort to maybe see through, break through, and feel different things, differently.

You know, really shake this masters shift. Nothing changes if nothing changes, and life is too glorious to keep being the same all of the time. Especially if you have gone as far as you can, and you know there are always other ways to try.

So this cosmic misfit will build today from where I am.

What else can I do, for it is all I have. Now is all any of us has. We must start from where we are full of wonder and awe…letting go of old ways by blessing them with the new.

This means the glorious dream of a beautiful meditation room where I can sit for long periods of time connecting to higher conciousness cannot come to life if I am not already building it one step, one thought, and one minute at a time.

Meaning the ideas and dreams we have of what we wish or want in our lives do not come to life by just thinking, wishing, or saving them on Pinterest. We have to shake up and out of our routines to create the new cause and effect in our ripples.

I am thankful for the time given to myself this morning to unwind and put this in the light. It feels like water and sunshine of the soul-kind. Nourished and finally ready to make this move.

Knowing now that it was not moving out of my home, or to stop trying to stretch out of my body. No, it was to learn to be still. To reach in further, and get ready to know more than I ever knew I could (again).

I do know the way. Have been here before, many times, and the starts ended up as false starts. No worries though, for this is how we grow, this is how it all works.

We are living works of art…each breath a chance to take a baby step that will coax us forward on a brighter path than before. Each calculated choice trying to slowly break old patterns, so to not circle, and breach forth into something new.

My advice:

“We have to let go to move forward.” Just stop holding on to whatever it is we are scared of…let it go, or let it in, but losing that grip frees our internal navigation heartstrings to play the right keys of self to open doorways of forgiveness and perception that can take us anywhere.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

P.S. IN 5th 90 Day Transformation started August 27, 2017. I am on day 10 of 90 days of hot yoga, and starting today to build, and or create my very first meditation place/spot/altar outside of me, so I can learn to focus and sit still. This is uncomfortable for me, a new part of the journey, but will stick to it. Now adding 30 minutes meditation every AM and PM for the remainder of the transformation.

Inner Circle Share

Sep 6, 2017

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Dear Inner Circle,

Re: My blog, I Never Believed IN Altars.

The post below was shared with me last night, and I received it upon waking this morning. It touched my heart as it is a powerful and beautiful way to think about meditating, so am sharing here tonight.

Internal Narcissus truly believes that “It is from and through each other that we grow in our greatest leaps and bounds.”

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You don’t need to build physical altars to aid in the meditation process.
Envision your altar and you will find yourself doing both…creating an altar and meditating. I love meditation. I’ve become a pro at it. Anytime and anywhere. Silent or active. Moving or still.

Let me know if you need any suggestions or help. Altars are simply sacred spaces where your tools of focus are lain out and prepared for you to use in an intentional manner. You can choose what those tools are or aren’t…spiritually, intellectually, physically, and otherwise.

No two altars are identical. Nor are they used the identically with exact/identical intent.

Maybe your physical altar is a shelf, kitchen counter, or end table in the living room with a lamp, your animal totem cards, some dream interpretation books, and a copy of the karma sutra.

*Sex can definetly be used during, and/or as, meditation.

I sometimes like to meditate in the bath tub while listening to music.

Maybe I might spray some perfume or light a scented candle and sit in the dark.

I might use writing, and/or write, as meditation or during it.

I use dance as a meditation technique.

Some people use martial arts.

You can have someone else help in guided meditation where they talk you through a session.

You can go outside for a walk or sit in the sun.

You can sing or speak. Repeat mantras. Etc.

It really doesn’t matter what or where. The main goal and purpose of function is to focus…on whatever you need to focus on.

Just like any other skill, it takes practice.

Starting with just five minutes until you’re comfortable is ok. Try to move on to ten minutes or fifteen. When you can do that consistently comfortable then try 20 or 30. Maybe you can do 60 or more. Maybe you only need 2. Progress according to YOU.

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Thank you for sharing this with me, and allowing to share with our self love community at Internal Narcissus, Nettie Marie Glenn.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright
Self Love Transformation Guide at Internal Narcissus and Internal Journeys

PS This is what my meditation room with altar will look like. I am building one in my 5th transformation and will start small as was shown to me yesterday afternoon, and then confirmed by Nettie from her share. So will build as it feels right and timing aligns. The truest part of all of this is that we need nothing to connect to everything because we already are.

Photo Credit: Bohemian Pages.

Dear Inner Circle,

I never believed in altars. When I sit and breathe on it I guess it is because that I found it hard to believe in anything outside of me. I was one of the things outside of me. I looked for them, I dreamed of myself to find them, to be with them. I built myself up in a certain way to be in certain places. The woman that I created and the lifestyle she envisioned are nothing like the woman I am now, or have chosen to be.

I’ve been working spiritually for 4 1/2 years deeply, but my walk has been my entire life, mostly from my teens forward. My aunt is a healer, and guided me along the way as gently and as off leash as she could. I was given enough room to make sure I found my own words and way.

I worked on my own through my first “unofficial” 90 day transformation. When I downloaded the blogs that walked my mind out of darkness one week at time over twelve weeks, and really have just gone piece by piece with it every since.

Processing the fourth and fifth chakras in my first and second transformations. Then solar plexus and sacral in my third. Finally coming home to finish a nine month alignments next steps in chakras, one per month, that started in Arkansas.

When I was in the desert I bought a chakra book with all of the chakra crystals to go along with it. I love the book, and have used it at will, but never dove into it, too, deeply. Just picked it up, for when and what I was being shown.

At the end of each chakra chapter it guides to create an altar, for deeper meditations. I am not good at sitting still or sitting in meditation, for I am a water and dream worker, so meditation is in mindlessness through power walking/and or working out.

Have tried several times in the last two transformations to make this more of a committed happening. It never worked, for had not found the peace inside of me that I have now. Apparently it is time to create an altar.

Altar (noun)
1. an elevated place or structure, as a mound or platform, at which religious rites are performed or on which sacrifices are offered to gods, ancestors, etc.
2. Ecclesiastical. communion table.
3.(initial capital letter) Astronomy. the constellation Ara.
4.(in a dry dock) a ledge for supporting the feet of shorings.

In the past I rejected altars like I rejected being a goddess or warrior. It just felt strange to me, and suppose it will for a while. Thankfully we grow slow at Internal Narcissus, so to not miss a step.

This is all I know for now on it, and of course will live and grow out loud each step of the way.

Love,

Kellie J. Wright

Self Love Spiritual Transformation Guide
Internal Narcissus | Internal Journeys

P.S My 5th IN 90 day spiritual transformation to shatter final mirrors, to find my breath and body connection through hot yoga, and work on third eye activation at will through meditation started August 27, 2017. Follow me on my journey, your too, for we are all one.

Photo Credit: bohemianpages.blogspot.co.uk I found this meditation photo on Pinterest and am using it for my vision board.