Love With An Open Hand

Feb 18, 2017

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Journal Entry Free Thinking on Love and Freud:

Dear Inner Circle,

I am happy that I will never hurt anyone again through the circling of repetition. When we have not done our internal work and mirrors are seeking mirrors for lessons of the tend and grow kind, we do hurt one another. Pain is real if it is felt, and this matters whether self inflicted or not. Even though all lessons are intended for growth and we do grow through them as best we can, and are meant. I do not believe there has to be anything in our world that we do not want, so if we do our inner child work before we enter into relationships with others, we will attract another who has done there inner child work too.

Likeness attracts to likeness:

In summary similarity-attraction theory attempts to explain and predict interpersonal liking by asserting that people are attracted to others who are similar to themselves. Consistent with this view, research has revealed that people prefer to affiliate with those who share similar attitudes, personalities, physical attributes, and a host of other characteristics compared to others who do not. Though similarity/attraction theory explains many cases of interpersonal attraction, it may not accurately predict all attraction outcomes. In some cases complementarity or avoidance of dissimilar others may better explain certain patterns of human liking. http://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/applied-and-social-sciences-magazines/similarityattraction-theory

This is why we must slow down and get to know ourselves, and get to know another before we jump into bed, give our hand, or our heart away. Make promises that we are not even sure we can keep yet, or give over the keys to our foundation.

It must be true that if likeness attracts likeness then we are attracting the good and the bad in ourselves. The light and the dark we know, or do not yet, and we pull others to us as mirrors of self (to break through). This is because we cannot see ourselves, or have not learned to yet. And all of this is OK, if we we are doing the best we can until we know and do better. Getting to a place where we can understand ourselves, and know that we are only as good as the tools in our mental toolbox is the starting point. We need this set of tools to help us as we guide ourselves through the tearing down and rebuilding of self.

What happens when we are wandering around out on the social plain of life “not knowing” and “unaware” of these situations and maladies? The dark pains we carry, or the lighter shades in how we “take things on” or “take things in” become how we communicate. So, if we do not understand the “why” of our actions then we shame and blame self, and, or others. Continuing to be the scared or harmed person inside of us that is driving our reality. Thus we will unintentional continue to harm self, and others.

Repetition by Freud is a prime example of this: Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon in which a person repeats a traumatic event, or its circumstances over and over again. This includes reenacting the event or putting oneself in situations where the event is likely to happen again. This “re-living” can also take the form of dreams in which memories and feelings of what happened are repeated, and even hallucination. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repetition_compulsion

This is the best part though, because once we can face our self the real work begins, the light starts to shine through, and we learn that who we came to be is not always who we are. Sadly most will never make this turn, for the fear of it is dangerously the darkest block. The dark night, or nights of the soul surely do not sound like a place that I wanted to visit, and so much that refused to believe in them. LOL ~ Oh thank, God, that I was wrong.

The tools earned are now safely at my side, and in reach as a mental arsenal of balanced fear and love. Along with a plaque on the cave of my heart that says “I know who I was before I became who I am.” Self actualization causes us to be self aware, and these are the sets of knowledges that are the gold and jewels in the crown of self-love. This gift leads to enlightenment, and to not repeating the same stories.

Not to say there won’t be a time when I let someone down, for we can only know ourselves as much as we have healed, and we can never know another truly, but am more honest and sure of this world than have ever been before. The crown of my chakra not blocked by looking for things outside of me to complete me. Unarmed and able to self soothe. Not seeking the affection of another as a primary goal, or concern ~ is everything. You gain yourself in this quest, and real-love will bloom. Just now within the precision and care expected when it comes to the beauty and fragility of a human heart, for hearts are souls.

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ― Thich Nhat Hah

Love, Kellie J. Wright
Voice and Author at Internal Narcissus
Living and growing out loud a 4 year transformation journey that gave me, me.
Transformation Guide at Internal Journeys

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