“We want to grow in the direct experience of our own deepest reality, the home of all creativity. What is latent in the seed of our life must grow into the fully blossomed tree so that we live everything that we are meant to live.” ~ Paul Muller-Ortega
I Grew-IN, and now it is time to Grow-UP. That is what I know right now. I do not know what that means for me yet, and I am not sure what the words “grow up” affect in you when read, but I am attaching nothing to it yet. Maybe it will be a growing out….not sure, still open for the truth to settle, and I am dreadfully tired again…
It took four years to get this far, to be this clear, to remember who I am and be in real time, all the time. I wanted to take what I learned and go quietly about my life. I did the impossible by balancing my happy and sad, my light and dark, danced with the good and bad to create this awesome happy now. Oh, but there is more, and I feel it coming like the sharp pain in my forehead right now. Assignments have been accepted even through only rough drafts.
All I know is that I am home and I am safe. I cried my eyes out last night processing still more things I had not even thought about regarding bad food choices and bad intake choices over my life. All because I made bad food choices, all day, yesterday. They left me ill and straight into a mass purging of pain and sorrow through crying in the shower curled up like a baby. I was in pain. Emotional and body, repeating that I am so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry ~ almost wailing, for the years of taking my biological temple for granted.
A deep internal clearing of shame was needed before leaving this nine cycle ending year. Ready to clean house yet again for 2017. A beginning year that I never knew was coming is here and it is time to root in and build the practice only dreamed and pieced together for so long. Nothing can hurt me, I will not hurt, I am awake and I am home.
All of the beautiful things dreamed of coming into alignment though hard work and daily directed intentions. My practice now is strong, so powerful, and although it is a little scary to imagine being more connected, clear, and sure: I hold on, to my mind, my body, and my soul that are my best and truest friends and caretakers of the ability to co-creaate the world we live in together as one. So much to input this year, and so much further to connect, but not right yet.
A changing of the guards is underway and there are quite a few things almost ready to share with each of you, Dear Inner Circle friends, but truth is first. Truth clears room inside for the goodness we seek to find a place to bloom again and again. This journey is most definitely back on, up, out, or whatever it will become. I need only be still. Silence is the next step, Stillness too in the building of a very deep meditation practice. It is the first assignment on the list…And so it is.
Love, Kellie J
These quotes came to mind this morning, so am sharing.
“May your love on the inside always match your love within.” ~ Kellie J. Wright
“I can do nothing for you but work on myself. You can do nothing for me but work on yourself. ~ Ram Dass
“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.” John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Happy New Year Beautiful Babies! It is going to be something else, for sure.