IN’s First Review

Dec 20, 2016


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Dear Inner Circle,

I am honored to share the first reflection from a client that has graduated the IN 90 Day Spiritual Transformation. Let me preface that the word ‘graduate’ came about because they who worked with me insisted. Insisted that this work was hard and they worked hard in this journey, and a rite of passage is in order to honor their work and accomplishments. I listened, so us 5 women (two that are in their 2nd 90 day transformations) will meet to do just that end of next month.

I am overwhelmed with awe and excited to plan a day with them. A day to honor all of our hard work, building of tribe. Recognizing we did it slowly, with personal attention, and on individual terms. This was their journey, I am merely their guide.

Gushingly, more to be revealed at a later time, for first, with excitement and great honor, below is the first mirror of my process. It is copied and paste from her page, but the link to her page is at the bottom of the post. Love, Kellie J ~
What a 90 Day Spiritual Transformation Taught Me
November 10, 2016 in Commentaries

“Before the truth can set you free, you need to recognize which lie is holding you hostage.” Rachel Wolchin

We are all storytellers. We tell ourselves stories every day. We believe these stories so much, they become our life and identity.

Stories are based on our comprehension of the world around us, filtered with our own kaleidoscope of understanding. Much of this understanding is solidified before we reach adulthood. We make life decisions with understandings forged at tender and undeveloped ages.

Kellie of the Internal Narcissus curated a 13-week experience to explore the intent behind these stories. She helps question the boundaries and triggers that make up one’s life. Kellie’s philosophy revolves around being in “real-time”, living with intention, and dealing with fear so one can speak and live ones truth. In essence, these 90 days were spent working on emotional intelligence. I was blessed to participate in her course this fall.

The process was insightful, yet uncomfortable at times. Self-observation is eerie. I do not like feeling vulnerable. Treating myself kindly became a mantra. Kellie encouraged me to regard myself as a friend and defend myself like I would others. Self-care was imperative: sleep, yoga, meditation, healthy food, no alcohol.

The Logistics: I was not in a cave meditating for 90 days (that sounds like quite an experience, but this was not that). I “met” with Kellie over the telephone twice a week. The first session was at the beginning of the week to review the week’s topic. The rest of the week was living with the material. I journaled, meditated, re-read the chapter in the book, generally processing the material. At the end of the week, we met for the second session to clarify and review observations. We used Evernote to communicate with general check-ins and record thoughts/communication. It was both intense and fun.

There are layers to awakening. One needs to be ready for each step and to live life (no hiding behind bad habits or defenses). This process involves asking for what one wants and then be open to receiving what you asked for graciously. This is growth, the honoring of ones intentions and accepting with grace. Open-mindedness was imperative.

The topics varied from psychological, spiritual, and philosophical. All topics were relational. We are in relationship with everything and we are the constant in every relationship. An example of one topic was asking, “When all reason leaves, what happens? Who am I in the storm?”. The answer may surprise and shock you.

An amazing number of synchronicities occurred during this transformation period. Reoccurring themes of change, revelation, and vivid, crazy dreams furthered the process. Quotes found their way to me that confirmed that week’s topic, friends and acquaintances would bring up topics related to the work, meditations were transcendent. These confirmations were of a mystical nature. I am a creative person, but I do have the imagination to create the experiences. The phrase “I can’t make this up” was used often during my sessions with Kellie. The Universe was talking and I was listening.

Leonardo da Vinci was correct when he said, “Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.”

A few of my insights (my personal journey):

A person’s response tells so much more about them and less about me.
Something can be personal without having to take it personally.
Regret is when one does NOT push through the moment of uncomfortable.
I live by a story and I have to accept my role in it. I have the power to change my story.

Society is never satisfied. It is a fickle and disapproving group, no matter how many gold stars one may have.
I do not have to defend myself to the world.
I am resilient; I am stronger than I know, and I am a whole person even in a dark place.

I found this transformation process was about showing up and doing the work. It was about showing up to live life.

The lasting effects include an innate calmness, a sense of self, and a strong sense of ownership over my life.

During these 90 days I was open to new opportunities. I tried Reiki for the first time. Afterward I felt radiant, physically light and humming. I attend two Tibetan Bowl sessions. It was like a great symphony, with harmony and crescendo and tension. I tried several new recipes. New opportunities presented themselves, and I said “Yes!”.

This was my journey. I am still learning and growth. I am excited for you to have your journey. We are creating our lives with these stories we tell ourselves.

Inspiring quotes:

“You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.” Jennifer J Freeman

“A true sign of self-worth is to participate fully in own existence, never shrinking away and judging yourself.” Depok Chopra

“Speaking your truth isn’t about purposefully hurting someone. It’s about intentionally caring for you.” Amy E. Smith

“Above all things is love. Listen to the truth inside you. The Universe loves you, seeks you, creates the through you. Say yes!” Kathy Price

Books that aided my journey:

Internal Narcissus: A Spiritual Transformation

Animal Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small

Medicine Cards & Book

ExistFLUX always, B


I just finished reading this posts in edit, and started to cry, for today when I read the words “Books that aided my journey:” and Internal Narcissus: A Spiritual Transformation” was the first one used in this process, reality hit. God is so good.

Please reach out to me if you have questions, or have any for this amazing woman who shared here. Below is the link to her page. I never met this woman before either, she is a referral from a fitness coach, client. Someone who had never heard of me, or my work and living and growing out loud journey.

Love, Kellie J ~

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