Earth Star Chakra Check-IN June 26, 2016

Jun 26, 2016


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Earth Star Chakra. Oh my goodness what do I say? When I set off to work I always find a little piece of information to start thinking and pondering on within. I then apply my own knowledge to use with my sacred medicine inside of me to heal. Searching, for clues, and opening up to hear divine consciousness speak to me. To hear God and to connect to all the signs that are all around me.

Yoga Story was insatiably one of the most important parts of the healing in this transpersonal chakra work. Each practice dedicated to Earth Star Chakra, first. Then I used my scrimshaw to connect to Mother Earth, and a bracelet made of stones and crystals, for Gaia through all meditation chakra works.

The bracelet is a Chinese bracelet that I bought, so long ago ~ that I could not believe I found it in my things. God is good and Mother Earth is, too. Here are the wisdoms learned in June 2016 ~ especially the first nine days of this healing work done in Earth Star Chakra:

This is what I first read and connected to for my work this month:

“The Earth Star Chakra holds a connection to the living spirit of Mother Earth, also known as Gaia and her multidimensional nature. We are electromagnetically connected to the center of Mother Earth. As human beings, we can only be as beautiful and glorious as the Great Mother whose womb we are all still in. The entire planet is covered by grids of energy and light that connect the people, places and sacred structures together in miraculous ways.”

I began June 1st: I only drank water and had a few small bites of Noosa yogurt each morning before yoga. I had coffee as a treat when I got home. Then some fruit with the rest of the Noosa. I washed and cleaned the fruit slow and with intention. I would not rush the process to make coffee either. I made time for my hunger, and my work to honor all as I went about my new morning routine. Each yoga practice was dedicated to my Earth Star Chakra, to life, and Mother Earth (other things here that are for my knowledge and personal sacred works).

At the very beginning this felt odd, though, because every time I tried to honor her (Mother Earth). Give all my homage to her for the practice I felt guilty. A pit in my stomach appeared. I could never say or give the whole offering to her without bringing creator into it too. At first it didn’t bother me too much just a slight knowing in my solar plexus. I would just adjust the dedication, and then was free to flow with thoughts found through images, words to work on, and the instructors intentions for the hour. Things started to happen day one…

I knew immediately this work would include my mother, too. So when I brought her in it was then shown to bring all of my earth mothers, grandmothers, and female ancestors in to honor as well. Also calling on Archangel Sandalphon, to bring my prayers directly to creator…I have never felt they did not go straight there, but he is this chakras angel and I was taking no chances!

Eventually realizing that I was working with my birth mother AND my father. This is where it gets a little deeper. Stay with me…

I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t commit a single practice to just Mother Earth, and feel free to honor her and the bounty of Earth which we are a part of. It was an hour, so why could I not just be with her? I could not do it without feeling overwhelming guilty, and had to bring creator into the dedication, too, every time. Finally, knowing, this is a block, my block, what is this block?!

Why was I feeling guilty and could not leave father out of it? It was just an hour of a yoga practice to heal and center Earth Star Chakra..then it finally happened the softening of mind ~ going back in time to realize that father had blocked mother from me…sadness…

I will leave the tale of my mother and father’s divorce, or the part that I think I know out of this. What I do feel is that it was a painful thing that they both went through, and I being the oldest child had a huge block. My father had blocked me for my mother. He was not happy that she left him, so he kept my sister and I. My mother would visit, I remember this. I do believe this is where I created my first block against mother unbeknownst to me. My whole life I’ve never been able to truly connect to my mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, dearly, but we just never deeply connected.

Internal Narcissus believes that I installed a belief that I had to choose between my mother and father whenever they were around because I did not want to hurt their feelings. I believe that father blocked me from mother because he was in pain and that mother blocked us because she could do nothing else and was in pain. She had to submit. I believe we all did, and that we did the best we could at the time with the tools that each of us had.

I was baffled and freed in this work, and I went in deep to meet us all in the memory of mind. As I silently cried in yoga meditation ~ I released the pain and cleared the blocks I had imagined and put in place. I forgave my father and I forgave my mother, and I forgave me.

I forgave my father for being hurt and blocking my mother from me. I forgave my mother for not being strong enough to stand up against my father. And I forgave me as a little girl, for not understanding how to love both at the same time without hurting their feelings.

(Tears) (pain) (sorrow) ~ Oh what a tangled web we weave…

The beauty in this traffic section of my life is the three instances where I was able to connect and actually see myself, and see myself with my mom. I have never been able to connect to early memories of me, or me with her. In this work connecting through mind, body, breath, and yoga I was availed my biggest gifts so far in this journey:

I saw me as a little baby. I was in the hospital nursery. Newborn. I could feel myself in the little body. I could feel my hands move and my mouth sucking and cooing. I could see outward at my mom.

A second time I was playing with me as a baby. Taking my little hands and arms pushing them together then apart saying a-boo.

Then the third time I saw my mother playing with me, and doing the same thing with my little arms. I was so touched and honored to be able to be taken back to those memories. To do this work is thankless, it is selfless, and selfish at times. Yet, I am so thankful for the commitment to know self and free these unknown blocks to be free in the now.

No longer trying to protect them and harming myself and others unknowingly in the process. Removing the blocks that my father needed my allegiance to shield him from his pain against my mother. And being able to see my mother loving me when I was a baby are all gifts that took me 3 1/2 years to get too. All spirit led ~ completely 100% indivisible. I love them both and hold no fear or anger. Our lives are our perceptions to honor or decline. We decide.

I thought I was done on day 9 with the work, but just recently I worked with Earth Star Chakra again. Thinking I was fine, but having some blocks, so knew to look inward. Finally going outside to look at the sky and be in the “chair of real.”

I was looking and feeling all around calling to God and on my sanity to help me through the pain and resistance that I was feeling. Then it hit me, and I knew it was time to clear any past pain and unintentional harm done through vanity, pride, or ego from a child forward being stored in my Earth Star Transpersonal Chakra.

I fell to my knees and cried full of unabashed shame knowing I had hurt people, for we all have, and I begged for forgiveness and to please be released. To be washed cleaned with my tears and bare knees digging into cement. Thankfully, it was given, I knew, when the wind came up and whipped around me, so fiercely in circles. God had heard and released my sins, Mother Earth had heard me and forgiven me for hurting her children. Oh my this work is something powerful, and that had to be done. I feel blessed to have the strength to keep following signs to get to the heart of self to free me.

I can honestly say I’ve never been more connected humanly in my life. I have always said I could not connect to my female side. Always connecting more to my masculine side. And I knew a year ago that I would be working on connecting and balancing the two, and by gosh, I finally have. Shocked and thrilled to say the least, and full on in the knowing that there can be no balance within the human body or soul if we are not balanced in mother and father. That means birth mother and father, too. We are both. We do not exist without mother and father, and this definitely means Creator and Mother Earth. Since the work with my mom and dad and clearing those blocks I have had not problem honoring either or both. I feel so balanced too.

Part of connecting to Earthstar chakra is connecting to Mother Earth. Every bounty on this earth comes from her. Everything we eat and the air we breath. We cannot do one thing without planet Earth. It is time that we start to recognize this to clear pain and honor her as we honor father. Tend her and take care of her for future generations. Through this work I could not help to think…what did they do to mother? Where is she? Why do we only talk about father?

Internal Narcissus knows now that if we do not connect to both mother and father then we are not connecting all. We have to fix this or everything that we have done to get us to this point may parish. We truly are all one. We are half male and half female. It takes both species to make one. Think on it….

In this time during June I have learned to honor the practice of creation. Honoring God and Mother Earth. We simply do not exist without both. I thank them, for life and the gift of finally being connected in real time to both and how that is everything. I take time to create beautiful meals made with love. Honoring even the the knife that it cutting my fruit and vegetables (the people who made it or dug the minerals to make it). Mostly I thank them for being an awake, alive, human who gets to enjoy all of it.

Walking my mind out of darkness again through transpersonal chakra clearing was tough work. I could never in my wildest dreams thought to find these blocks, but hard work and belief did. All the vanity and pride that I used or held against another that I didn’t know either, wow! Transpersonal is the self. Transpersonal Chakra is for real.

Next month is the Root Chakra, and with the freedoms earned have new next steps. I AM going home to Washington state for the month of July to work on Root Chakra to be where I was born and grew, so it makes complete sense.

The biggest gift of all that happened this June is that I learned in this final work in being spirit led ~ is that I am the led. I am my spirit. I make my decisions and my choices, and I am free to change them, too. Stay with me on my journey, for sure to continue and surprise the heck out of me. Hopefully inspire something in you, too.

I will talk more about Root Chakra next Sunday.

Love Life, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus

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