“My whole life, right now, is an unwinding of what I wound.” Kellie J. Wright ~ IN
I took this quarter off from college to sort through all of the finer details of my life. I am talking about things like: buying my credit report to see what it looks like and start actions needed and finding then taking my last two broken iPhones to a professional to salvage the hard drives. This task by the way, is the most important to me as I store all of my downloads from spirit, writings of inspiration, and notes for projects in my phone. Also, organize all of my photos from the last three plus years of this transformational Internal Narcissus journey which are in two different computers. Oh, then there is the catching up on the little things like….mailing my nephews Christmas presents because life went crazy right afterwards, and trying to start some sort of regular communication with my family and friends. ~ I feel it is safe to say that a messy life is acquired when one goes on a 100% spirit-led journey, taking the road less traveled becoming a spiritual misfit.
Yes, these things are on my mind, and I cannot stop thinking about all of these things because I have the space to. It makes me cry missing people that I love, at the drop of a hat or song, and with new clarity seeing things much more defined. I know thinking about all of these things makes me who I am, so I think and I feel and I own the love and emptiness that comes in waves. Solid in it is the right thing to do. Listening and believing that God will keep me on path signing the way for my intended next steps to live and grow out loud this song of rebirth and redemption. Markers being shown that I now have to make room outside of my brain and body to be present with that manifestation too. Like: answering phone calls, making phone calls, reaching out, and co-creating my life by taking charge of its design and momentum.
Internal Narcissus believes that once we work through the inside blocks and triggers then we have to work on the outside ones. Believing that these things can be handeled quickly once we start them, but first we have to slow down to make time. This afternoon is the first time since I left Big Bear, CA that I really feel like I had a day to sit and just be. Winter quarter done, and heavy decision made to stave off spring quarter to take time to feel and process the lose of my relationship that ended the beginning of January, and to enjoy my great new jobs and people in my now. Be the spiritual coach and mentor that I am called to be. Slowly catch up on bills and responsibilities. Save some money for a new pair of boots and be happy that all of my animals are healthy, happy, and strong. Mostly that I have a safe place to live and grow, and have found a peace in the last few weeks that is so real inside of me in knowing that I have finally learned how to let go and still love. Huge Sigh…this is heaven, alone.
Life is happening, and we decide how to process ours, so it is imperative that we learn the skills to do it. These skills are earned one at a time. One little sparkle of knowledge gleaned through the faith to linger and sit in fear and to process its truth: no matter what it looks like on the outside. All of the lessons learned in the last 6 months have made me stronger than I knew I could. My Twin Flame relationship refining my vision as I worked in mediums of me in: love, fear, pride, ego, and mirrors that shook my very core being. I never could have ever thought this fire and transforming was possible until him. I love him and us and all that we tried. I am amazed at what this type of work will show and bring out in a person. I have never seen myself so clear. It took three months of processing to find it all. & All I can say is that I AM present and I AM awake, and am ready for the next steps in my journey: a year with me. And so it is.
I need to not be anybody’s for a while, I need to be mine, so I can become the woman I have always dreamed of being: a woman who full of grace. I am, and have always been a woman who believes in magic and miracles, so I am keeping my heart, eyes, and ears open to know the way. Dear Universe, I relinquish control and am surrendered to what God and I can co-create, again, as I dive-in backwards to find and honor all that was and is. This time, ~ so I can truly be. “We can only grow as we know.” & “We can grow quickly when paying attention.”
Faith in the unknown keeps me on a path of enlightenment and expedition to become mindless.
Eternally, Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus ~ 100% Spirit-led and Balanced in Love and Fear. #transformation #love #fear #balance #spiritual #guide #shinebright in going slow to find the truth in everything.