Today I am going to cross a bridge, and I am ready. It is curious to me how we can wake up backwards one day with no realization of how long we have been facing the opposite direction when thought facing forward.
Maybe slow turns of recognition and pushes through the night garnered a graceful resurrection of full pardon? Coiling that slowly pushed me into this next right alignment, or, maybe it was a hard crash in the night of a frozen reality that forced me to shatter off a sleepwalk, so deep, that I was blinded behind thought awakened eyes?
Whatever the cause, or case ~ all of the good works done over the last three plus years have bronzed me to full stature with a chiseled clarification of worth and self, and I AM finally 100% awake and home.
I want to share that there are always more layers of learning than the ones currently being attained, and that we can go as far as we want to, but that we cannot skip ahead of our lessons of intended learning, ever.
These stepping stones to clarity are earned one slow personal war with self (no one else) at a time while doing very hard internal soul-work. Badges given to equal current placement, desire, and dedication to being the best, most honest, and open self that you can.
I have died internally and externally numerous times on my path to be resurrected in the gold. Every time raised more fortified, more confidant, more strong, and more poised from each new kneading and entry to kiln: I have never grown backwards, for I will only grow forward, and will never stay the same.
This is why I beg you to please not fear the heat of purification or the cold of darkness, for it is in this throwing that true agitation can produce the calling within that is needed to be a little braver, and less angry each time that we fall. Causing us to listen further, ask more questions, and in honest desperation seek to know thy will. We need only call his name, for him to spark the heart-light of our inner sanctum and safe-place in the cave of our heart.
Internal Narcissus believes every human is worthy and deserves love and peace, so please re-read the book of you until you find each broken part to wash clean. Look at your life with a new understanding of how glorious and beautiful your messy-self is in the real time now that is you. Find the tree of you, surrender on fallen knees, and ask for help. Give it to God, be a ball of clay emptied of pride, ego, and fear. Surrender and be ready for the remolding of your life, co-created, for you cannot do this without God, and he cannot do it for you.
I AM still in shock and awe from the last three plus years of my spiritual-journey of enlightenment and transformation that has come full circle. I am alone, and I am again trying to make sense of my life and me, but I AM stronger, I AM present, and I AM ready.
This being I do not wonder about the why as much as keeping focused on all of the goodness that surrounds me daily. I keep my heart on track by staying very still. Reaching out, and praying more than I ever have. Also trusting more than ever, too, because I certainly believe that God has his hand on everything and everyone and that he loves us all the same whether we do, or do not. His plan for us is a personal journey that will unfold if we just let go…
So, it is in this knowing that I cannot slow down to mourn the beauty of a life that I feel so blessed to have. Rather I will honor its dark and its light as I always do, as gifts from spirit to align my path and truest destiny. While keeping face forward on this long and winding Picasso of Fireworks that is my life, and road less traveled.
IN Love and Light,
Kellie J. Wright ~ Internal Narcissus
Photo:”Seeking infinite wisdom.” ~ Jaymz K. Kennedy ~ IN Resident Photographer