The hardest part about finding true love is not letting it die when the duality of love and fear are rising inside the bodies of two lovers who want nothing more than to hold each other while staring into each other’s eyes. Desperately wanting to feel completely safe so they can be open, honest, foldable, and vulnerable. All in the middle of real-time knowing that certain words and frequencies are amplifying and clouding all reason in their galaxy of celestial stars.
Two shooting stars becoming distant and hazy in the sedation of wondering if they should let go when they so very want to hold on. Or, if they should hold on when they feel like they can no longer take the pain and just let go? Railing against the skin of their atmosphere holding them hostages while holding onto and trying to remember that God has his hand on everyone and everything, and that this is their chance for real growth.
In the distance finding faith to let go and let each other be just long enough to catch their next breath, find sure footing, and space to air out thoughts. Time to rest and to center their inherently good intentions that are being mixed to a volatile cocktail with their totally understandable, but misperceived proportions of doubt rising in flames trying to dim the sky of their hearts horizons.
I believe the most important part about loving someone is to love the things that we do not necessary like about them too. Honoring their humanness and well as their divineness: their darkness just as much as their sunlight. Insisting that loving someone means loving their ugly parts as well: the parts that are mean, fearful, and vicious at times ~ maybe even quirky. Our mask of fear worn for protection in the most fearful of times that still are being worked on in real-time participation. Yes, we all have them, we cannot deny, stuff, or try to hide them, because these masks are a part of who we are: the dark in the light of our universe.
This is why at Internal Narcissus we say that we have to love our self and others the whole way through. This duality can be very consuming almost devastating when it is a happening in real-time stings with our love ~ frequencies attached to old fears, past residues tied to negative thoughts left to wreck havoc on peaceful and loving minds will happen, and it feels and looks different on everyone; it is our pain.
And if you do not care, it will not hurt, but if you do, it will hurt more than anything in the world. The pain of not be able to calm your love in the throes of fear is the most consuming pain and can take you to places that you do not want to go, but there you are, weightless. Spinning in this cellular dark matter, pulling and pushing both parties to become distant stars, but Shooting Stars know better than to follow. So we rail and fight for love, but then there is that point, that one point, where so much has been taken, too much, and we fall…
Fall to the ground eyes tired giving way to flows of water because you feel you have lost, and think you feel nothing. Stuck hovering near your chest wondering if you could ever love them again. That their fear has won, stripping you of every feeling. Left drained, defeated asking if you could feel for them again, but then a light shifts and you calm, recalling that you know you have before. ~ Then the clouds part and a real first, fresh, deep breath is taken. The light has beat the dark again. The sun is shinning bright, love prevails and lessons of faith and trust now run deeper. New knowledge of each other has been assimilated, intimacy has returned in a robust and deeper red, and the bonds already strong are strengthened as the two shooting stars find their way home: which I believe is the safety of each others arms and hearts.
Internal Narcissus believes Love is a story that needs tending and care, whether we choose to the love someone and ourselves the whole way through or not. Encouraging everyone to find your light and dark, and know it well. Share it with your love, so you can help each other grow and brave internal storms. Mapping pathways to clarity when lightening strikes, so as to rail against the intruder fear. For Fear does not care for our happiness outside of us, it only wants to protect us from perceived pain inside. This is why we must heal our hearts, change our stories, clear blocks and triggers, and always, I mean always, grow slow while choosing to linger in love ~ both its dark and its light.
Finally Comfortable in My Own Skin,
Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus