Apr 26, 2015


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“Because I’m not like you what won’t you let me define? Footprints in the sand leave trails up-and-down my heart and tracks all through my mind. No longer visible on the outside as crawling turns to a slow slide, ever so small into place, but look no hands, look father I’m doing it, so give me one more chance to change the look on your face.” Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

Where is the finish line on a beach with no sand and a heart that can’t hear from the inside? How slow can we grow and small can we hide on the brighter side of the great divide? I’m indivisible by you, and you plus me equals us, so where can we hide and who do we trust, and how do I do this when you are all that I have, and they still do not trust. Your love, your faith, your grace, your care, your want and need for us to do well and exceed.

~ As there are many religions that all lead to you there are many ways to clean our blood, clear our memories, and bring fresh new cells to life in our body so we can stand up truthfully in front of you. And is not on our knees, postulated to the ground, crucified by our own memories enough for us to call each other brothers and sisters? Even then are we strong enough to all hold hands and shout no more: no more shame, no more pain, no more fear, no more manipulation, no more greed, no more separation, no more NOT lifting each other up anymore?

Have we become so many that we’ve lost sight of love for each other and for the hope of humanity? How could we ~ when we were given so many of its gifts, and so many chances again and again? If fear is the only thing that blocks the human heart from the love of all, from the love of our Creator, from the acceptance of each other ~ then why don’t we rally a war against fear and not each other?

When someone won’t listen to you because they say you don’t have enough time “wait…heart stops with a heavy sigh” ~ When rules exceed acceptance, when old ways will nor garner new, when others judge with a heart that is closed and not open a larger disassembling ensues. When others push their views and ideas against you because they are so sure that they know exactly the way they leave no chance for your conversation with God to find its own voice and know it’s own path, and become its own truth what it is for?

Internal Narcissus believes we are a moving improving species. A slow fanning out from the beginning of time… oh, there we go to the “time thing” again. “How much time do you have?” “Time for what, I ask?” Hmm, I have all the time in the world for now. I have every minute that I can breathe as I’m breathing it now. I have only now, so in essence time has me, now. How we choose to spend our time defines the details of our mind, so as you count your time do not use it against another or use it to place yourself apart from another. If we start to define ourselves by distance we will all surely continue to loose.

Internal Narcissus is about learning to love ourselves, so you, we, can love others ~ in this circle of life. I implore you do not wither away by wasting your love for it is a precious commodity straight from source, straight from the creator, something you’re been given a lifetime guarantee of access, so make sure that you use it wisely and give it to those who can receive it and give it back.

Un-break your heart, learn to love, learn to accept, learn to not judge, learn to clear the traumas of our lives, so we can gravitate toward next intendeds and chosen families of trust. Create a life worth having and sharing with others by making our first relationship with God, or higher power our first and foremost. Then and only then can we love another truly, and that other should have the similar definitions of love ~ only then can the two flower and garner a life together.

We are not meant to be alone and I will fight every day to remind each of you how lovely you are and me too, so we can have a life that we want and share it with others. Tear down those walls, revel in our own beauty, clear our minds, and in doing so our souls will glow and shine brightly in all the hues of our own intentions: causing us to define all as love and love as all.

Kellie J ~ Internal Narcissus

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