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Aug 28, 2013

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“Knowing is half-way home”. Kellie J. ~ Internal Narcissus

Do you have anything that is not yours? Do you have anything that does not belong to you that has been kept locked away, out of sight, behind closed doors; maybe in little boxes packed one within the other inside your mind? Things Kept buried in the back of hidden drawers in a room, or deep in the closets of time? Do you have something that someone gave you that you have never given back? Do you have something that someone made you take and you did not realize you could give back? Do you carry things around with you that do not belong to you?

I believe there are three different ways to carry things or have things that do not belong:

1. Ones that were pushed upon you.

2. Ones that you have taken.

3. Ones that you do not even know you have.

 

It is also my belief that any one of these three things can feel as heavy as a thousand rocks holding you down, and that the weight of three worlds and 20 continents can be wrapped in a single thought. Do you ever have days that you feel like you are drowning, but do not know why?

My truth is this Earth is awake and is floating freely. While we sit upon her shores, walk upon her body, and fly through the backdrop of her sky. Have you ever wondered if there is anything that she is holding that she does not want to have? This all came from me (water dreaming) as I thought of all the someone’s that I love. I wondered what it would be like to have to hold the things that they have that they do not want, but then I got lost in my thoughts that wrapped around the world and I could not come to any conclusions, but these words came.

Please do not hang on to anything that does not belong to you. Whether it has been pushed upon, given, or taken. Please expound these things that do not belong to you whatever they are; thoughts, words, jewelry, clothing, or items of any sort because although we are mighty inside we are very small on this Earth. So we should be very careful about the things that we have and make sure that we want them because we are unfertile ground otherwise.

For how can we plant seeds of growth and forgiveness to bloom love and integrity if we have things that do not belong to us either inside or out? Is it not time to cleanse the shores of our minds, crosses of our hearts, and lost memories? I write this in the knowing because I have many things that did not belong to me anymore, and I got rid of them. They were memories and items that no longer rang true and items related to things thirteen years long gone that I had kept myself trapped in the memory or delusion of their making. This is why I believe it is so important to make time to empty the drawers of our chest and line them with finely scented paper. Hand pressed out to the edges ready-made for the things that we will have because the work has been done and we are ready.

My truth is I cannot believe that we have to carry around so many thoughts for safe keeping or reminders of what we do not need, want, or have anymore. Things that were left or given to us that we do not want to have, or never belonged to us. But this is the challenge is it not. To empty, redesign, and excavate the mind. To create a path for a life brand new, a second living, the second time, all-in-one life. So, what do you have that you do not want to have? Have you ever thought of that before?

Just freethinking here about all the people I love, including me. It reminds me of a story I overheard by my Hot Yoga instructor. He was talking to a fellow student in class. He said, we are the stories we tell ourselves, and that he used to tell the hard story of his life to those he met, but one day he heard these same words and they rang ever so true, so he wrote himself a new story. I could hear him smiling proudly behind my closed eyes as he said, he wrote one he desired. Oh my, how beautiful and empowering is that.

Internal Narcissus believes we are what we tell ourselves and is wondering how long we want to have and to hold that same old story that has nothing to do with us in real-time anymore? Resolute to our future beholding us, and that knowing is half way home.

Internal Narcissus,

Kellie J. Wright

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