“Let us all set off as human butterflies chasing the beauty that is us in the warmth of a new days sun.” Kellie J. ~ Internal Narcissus
I think the hardest thing to remember once we are ready and we are moving forward in our lives is that where we are going is an unknown. Not the idea or dream of where we are going, but the actual space it takes up in our mind because it has not yet been created. Naturally, it is easy to become excited as we speculate our futures, but as humans we tend to hover near ourselves and the memories we have collected for proof that we are actually here. I call this placing ourselves in the middle of this reality that we call life. We do this by using memories of moments as place markers in and from our timeline. But, this is where we need to be careful and start to listen a little further.
I believe that if we are not committed to a future because we are unsure of it we can loose sight of our real time selves’ right smack in the middle of our days. This is because we are busy people with too many things to do here just to survive. So, while preoccupied during our daily routines the back drop of our mind will start looking backwards for comfort and connect to feelings that felt the warmest and sincerest. Unfortunately forgetting that these feelings no longer hold true or can be no more because if they were we would be connected in real time, not looking backwards for the connect.
Point being when our brains cannot find a place to go forward to create in peace and comfort it will look back and pick the last person, place, or thing it was creating these feelings with before. This is why we have to pay attention to feelings shelved that pop up in the middle of creating a new life moving forward. Always making sure to dig a little deeper and ask a lot of defining questions to see if these feelings were sought out by the backdrop of our mind because they are real and need our attention, or if they were just the closest for it to find safe harbor. So, if our new hall monitor of self is busy making copies, lattes, or saving the world, we need to become more vigilant in what we are accepting as truisms.
My truth is the most important thing about growing-in and moving forward is knowing that there is an unknown aspect to it, so it is imperative we make some room. Have a yard sale for life. Getting rid of the old cluttered not sure places where we can get bogged down. Build a new addition to the front room of our mind while moving forward toward a new horizon with fresh warm blood and a strong internal heartbeat. Opening the doors wide, so when humanity comes knocking and asks to join our new circle of friendship of hope and longing we are there and waiting with tea and biscuits; at a tea party of the grandest of all celebrations, for a life ahead of us not the one behind.
Of course, this course is uncharted and the destination is unknown, but we are armed with a full set of refined skills meant to protect and alarm us to the new opportunities of growth ahead. Always remembering that we have exactly what we need, we are exactly enough as we are, and that life will keep getting better as we learn to believe, breath, and let go. Trusting in the not knowing, that not having a clear idea of where we are going is only temporary until we catch up to ourselves in real time. Ready to move forward at last, with a confident right step as we set off as human butterflies, dancing barefoot through the sands of our time here and now, reveling in the feeling of wonderment that is us.
Internal Narcissus,Kellie J. Wright